Looking for funny Kansas City Chiefs Jokes?
This is the best collection of jokes about the Kansas City Chiefs you’ll find anywhere.
Not only are these Kansas City Chiefs football jokes funny, but they are clean and safe for kids of all ages.
These Chiefs jokes are especially great for parents, teachers, children, Kansas City Chiefs fans, football fans and coaches – but they are fun for everyone.
Kansas City Chiefs Jokes
Q: Why are Chiefs players so patriotic?
A: They’re part of the American Football Conference
Q: What division do the KC Chiefs play in?
A: The Wild West
Q: How did the Chiefs quarterback get signals from the sideline?
A: Smoke signals.
Q: How does a lazy Chiefs player get ready to travel?
A: He lets his wolfpack.
Q: What does every Kansas City Chiefs player do on their birthday?
A: They get older!
Q: Why do the Kansas City Chiefs draft ballet dancers as their kickers?
A: They know how to split the uprights!
More Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓
Q: Which Kansas City Chiefs player wears the biggest cleats?
A: The one with the biggest feet!
Q: What kind of motorcycle does Patrick Mahomes ride?
A: An Indian.
Q: Why did the Kansas City Chiefs player get heartburn after eating birthday cake?
A: He forgot to take off the candles.
Q. Why did the kicker for the Kansas City Chiefs bring string to the game?
A: Just in case he needed to tie the score
Q. What runs around Arrowhead Stadium but never moves?
A: A wall
Q: What are successful Kansas City Chiefs kickers always trying to do?
A: Reach goals.
Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Tess me.
Tess me who?
Tess me the football!
Q: Who walks back and forth screaming one minute, then sits down weeping uncontrollably the next?
A: Andy Reid – coach of the Kansas City Chiefs football team
Q: Why did the Kansas City Chiefs football players cry when they lost?
A: They’re a bawl club.
Q: Who did the Kansas City Chiefs zombie team play during preseason?
A: The DEADskins.
Q: How did Patrick Mahomes (Kansas City Chiefs quarterback) know he was about to get sacked in Chicago?
A: He heard them BEARING down on him.
Q: What is harder for a Kansas City Chiefs receiver to catch the faster he runs?
A: His breath!
More Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Hanna.
Hanna who?
Hanna ball off to me, Kirk!
Q: What do Kansas City Chiefs lose every night?
A. Their shadows.
Q: What can Kansas City Chiefs players catch if a Denver player sneezes on them?
A: Bronco-itis
Q: What did the Kansas City Chiefs think about their new stadium lights?
A: They gave it GLOWING reviews.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Howey.
Howey who?
Howey run so fast?
Q: When should Kansas City Chiefs football players wear armor?
A: When they play knight games.
Q: What is as big as a Kansas City Chiefs center, but weighs nothing?
A: His shadow.
Q: What do you get when you cross the Kansas City Chiefs quarterback with a carpet?
A: A throw rug.
Q: What’s the difference between the Kansas City Chiefs and water?
A: Water runs.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Hans.
Hans who?
Hans to the face is a penalty.
Q: What did Chris Conley say to the football before the game?
A: Catch you later.
Q: Did you hear about the joke that Patrick Mahomes told his receivers?
A: It went over their heads.
Q: What do Kansas City Chiefs players do when they get overheated?
A: They get closer to the fans.
Q: Why can’t Patrick Mahomes use his phone?
A: Because he can’t find the receiver.
Q: Why did the Kansas City Chiefs quarterback make his bed out of straw?
A: To feed his night mares (about getting sacked!)
Q. How are Kansas City Chiefs opponents like lazy neighbors?
A. They rarely pick up a yard.
Q: Where do Kansas City Chiefs football players dance?
A: At a foot ball!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Uriah.
Uriah who?
Keep Uriah on the ball Laquon Treadwell!
More Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓
Q: What’s the difference between the Kansas City Chiefs and a dollar bill?
A: You can always get four quarters out of a dollar bill.
Q: What is the difference between a Kansas City Chiefs fan and a baby?
A: Babies stop crying after awhile.
Q: Why did Andy Reid go to the bank?
A: To get his quarter back.
Q: What do you call 53 millionaires around a TV watching the Super Bowl?
A: The Kansas City Chiefs.
Q: Which Kansas City Chiefs player wears the biggest helmet?
A: The one with the biggest head.
Q: What do you call an Kansas City Chiefs at the Super Bowl?
A: A spectator.
Q: What does a Kansas City Chiefs coach and the mailman have in common?
A: Neither delivers on a Sunday.
Q: How do you keep Kansas City Chiefs out of your yard?
A: Put up goal posts.
Q: What do Kansas City Chiefs receivers and the Post Office have in common?
A: Neither is open on Sundays!
Q: What’s the best way to teach your dog to roll over?
A: Have him watch the Kansas City Chiefs defense play a game.
Q: What do you call a Kansas City Chiefs player at the Superbowl?
A: Lost.
Q: Where do you go in Kansas City in case of a tornado?
A: Arrowhead Stadium (Kansas City Chiefs Stadium) – they never get a touchdown there!
Q. Why do ducks fly over Arrowhead Stadium with their eyes closed?
A. There’s nothing worth seeing!
Q: What’s the difference between Kansas City Chiefs fans and mosquitoes?
A: Mosquitoes are only annoying in the summer.
Q: Why shouldn’t toddlers wear Kansas City Chiefs jerseys?
A: It would be a choking hazard.
Q: According to a new poll 95 percent of people love Sundays.
A: The other 5 percent are Kansas City Chiefs fans.
Q: How do Kansas City Chiefs players stay cool?
A: By standing close to the fans.
Q: Where should you go if you are scared of catching a cold?
A: The Kansas City Chiefs end zone – they don’t catch anything there.
Q: What do quarterbacks call Kansas City Chiefs defensive lineman heading their way?
A: They don’t call them anything – they just run!
Q: Why are centipedes not allowed to play for the Kansas City Chiefs?
A: It takes too long to put their cleats on.
Q: How do you hire a Kansas City Chiefs punter?
A: By putting him on stilts.
Q: What’s a touchdown?
A: I’m not sure – I’m a Kansas City Chiefs fan.
Q: What did Chris Jones (Kansas City Chiefs Defensive End) have stuck in his teeth?
A: A quarterback.
Q: What do Kansas City Chiefs players wear on halloween?
A: Face Masks!
Q: What kind of pastry did Eric Murray eat most?
A: Turnovers!
Q: What kind of tea do Kansas City Chiefs football players drink?
A: Penaltea
Q: Why was the tiny ghost asked to join the Kansas City Chiefs football team?
A: They needed a little team spirit.
More Jokes Below ↓ ↓
Q: Why didn’t the dog want to play football for the Kansas City Chiefs?
A: It was a boxer.
Q: Where is a ghost’s favorite spot on a Arrowhead Stadium?
A: Under the ghoul posts!
Q: Why did the football quit playing with the Kansas City Chiefs?
A: It was tired of being kicked around.
Q: Why doesn’t the Kansas City Chiefs football team have a website?
A: They can’t string three W’s together.
Q: How are scrambled eggs like the Kansas City Chiefs?
A: They’re both beaten.
Q: Why does the Kansas City Chiefs have the coolest helmets?
A: The one with the most fans.
Q: Why is it always warmer at Arrowhead Stadium after the game?
A: All the fans have left.
Q: What happens to Kansas City Chiefs players who go blind?
A: They become referees.
