Looking for train jokes and jokes about trains? This collection of train jokes are clean and safe for kids of all ages – and we’re adding new jokes all the time.
You’ll also find jokes about Thomas the Tank Engine and some of his friends on this page – or you can visit a page dedicated to jokes about Thomas and Friends.
Fun Fact: For the Harry Potter fans out there – the Hogwarts Express is a real train which runs across 84 miles of railway in the United Kingdom (in Western Scotland). If you’re in Scotland, you can ride on it!
Kids Train Jokes
Q: How did the locomotive get so good at it’s job?
A: Training
Q: When does a rabbit go exactly as fast as a train?
A: When it’s a passenger on the train.
Q: What do you call a train loaded with bubble gum?
A: A chew-chew train
Q: Why were the railroad tracks angry?
A: Because people are always crossing them.
Q: What do you give a train conductor for his birthday?
A: Platform shoes!
Q: Why did the chicken cross the railroad track?
A: To get to the other siding.
Q: Which train car has antlers?
A: The Camoose.
Q: Why couldn’t the train sit down?
A: It had a red caboose!
Q: How do trains hear what you’re saying?
A: Through the engineers!
Q: What is the difference between a school teacher and a train driver?
A: A school teacher tells you to spit out your gum, but a train driver says “choo choo choo”
Q: How do you find a missing train?
A: Follow the tracks
Q: What do you call a train that sneezes?
A: Achoo-achoo train.
Q: How can you tell that a train passed by?
A. You can see it’s tracks
Q: Why is the railroad angry?
A: Because people are always crossing it!
Q: Why can’t the train engineer be shocked?
A: Because he’s not a conductor!
Q: What happened to the man that took the train home?
A: He had to give it back!
Q: Why was the train late?
A: It kept getting side tracked.
Q: Why couldn’t the steam engine sit down?
A. It had a tender behind
Q: What do you call a locomotive with a cold?
A: Achoo achoo train.
Q: What’s as big as a locomotive, but weighs nothing?
A: It’s shadow.
Q: Why don’t elephants like to ride on trains?
A: They hate leaving their trunks in the baggage car.
Q: What did the mommy steam engine say to her baby engine at dinner?
A: Make sure you choo choo
Q: If an electric train is heading south, which way would the steam be blowing?
A: It’s an electric train so there isn’t any steam.
Q: Why was that train engine humming?
A: It didn’t know the words.
Q: Why did the train have bubble gum?
A: He wanted to go Choo Choo
Q: What do you call a dramatic railway?
A: A play station
Q: What do you call a train that eats gum?
A: A chew, chew train.
Q: What kind of a train does a crazy engineer drive?
A: A LOCOmotive.
Q: What happened when the train made a mistake on the job?
A: His boss chew-chewed him out.
Q: Who investigates railroad crimes?
A: Scotland Train-Yard
Thomas the Train Jokes
Q: What did Thomas say after Gordon helped him out of the mineshaft?
A: Tank you!
Q: What do you get when you cross a Tram Engine and Shakespeare?
A: Toby or not toby, that is the question.
Q: Why can’t Duck help the other engines on Sodor?
A: Because his windshield is qwacked.
