This collection of bear jokes is one of the biggest you’ll find. Great for kids, parents and teachers, these jokes about bears are going to get some great laughs.
Fun Bear Facts: Bears have a large brain and are one of the more intelligent mammals. Even though they are big and heavy, they can run fast and are also good at swimming and climbing. Panda bears are herbivores and live almost entirely on bamboo while other bears eat mostly meat.
Jokes About Bears
Q: Why aren’t Teddy bears ever hungry?
A: Because they’re always stuffed.
Q: What do you get when you cross a polar bear with a rose?
A: I don’t know but I sure wouldn’t try to sniff it.
Q: What animal hibernates while standing on its head?
A: Yoga Bear.
Q: Why are polar bears so cheap to have as a pet?
A: They live on ice.
Q: What do Alexander the Great and Winnie The Pooh have in common?
A: They both have ‘The’ as a middle name.
Q: Why do polar bears have fur coats?
A: Because they would look silly in ski jackets.
Q: Where do you find polar bears?
A: It depends on where you lost them.
Q: What did the polar bear say when she saw campers in sleeping bags?
A: Mmmm, Hot Pockets…
Q: How do you keep a polar bear from charging?
A: Only accept cash.
Q: What do you get if you cross a dishonest polar bear and a harp seal?
A: A bear-faced lyre (a lyre is a stringed instrument like a small harp).
Q: What did the polar bear have stuck in his teeth?
A: Eskimos.
Q: What did the polar bear eat after the dentist fixed its tooth?
A: The dentist!
Q: How do you hire a Teddy bear?
A: By putting it on stilts.
Q: What snack do polar bears like to eat?
A: Brrrrrrrritos.
Q: What do you call a big snarling polar bear that’s heading your way?
A: You don’t call it anything – you just run!
Q: What do you call a polar bear wearing earmuffs?
A: Anything you want because it can’t hear you.
Q: When is a polar bear not a polar bear?
A: When it’s in a grizzly mood.
Q: What do polar bears like to eat during the summer?
A: Brrrrr-gers.
Q: What do call a bear with no ears?
A: B.
Q: How does a polar bear stop a DVD?
A: By pressing the “paws” button.
Q: What did the Polar Bear say when it saw a seal on a bike?
A: Meals on Wheels!
Q: What did the not-so-smart bear say?
A: Pan-duh.
Q: Why don’t polar bears like fast food?
A: Because they can’t catch it.
Q: What’s a Teddy bears favorite pasta?
A: Tagliateddy.
Q: Why was the little bear so spoiled?
A: Because its mommy panda’d to it.
Q: What do you get when you cross a skunk with a bear?
A: Winnie the Pee-yoo.
Q: Why did the polar bear swim across the river?
A: To get to the other side.
Q: What do you get when you cross a Teddy bear with a pig?
A: A Teddy boar.
Q: Why are igloos round?
A: So polar bears can’t hide in the corners.
Q: What don’t you need to hunt bear?
A: Clothes.
Q: What is a bear’s favorite drink?
A: Coca-Koala.
Q: What are polar bears called when they’re caught in the rain?
A: Drizzly bears.
Q: What do you call a polar bear on thin ice?
A: An ice breaker.
Q: What animal do you look like when you take a shower?
A: A little bear.
Q: What would be a balanced diet for a polar bear?
A: A seal in each paw.
Q: What has four legs and a flipper?
A: A happy polar bear.
Q: What is it called when you dream that polar bears are chasing you?
A: A bitemare!
Q: What do polar bears like to have for lunch?
A: Ice burgers.
Q: What do Mexican bears like to eat?
A: Bear-ittos!
Q: What is a polar bear’s favorite shape?
A: ICE-osceles triangle.
Q: How can you catch fish without using a fishing pole?
A: With your BEAR hands.
Q: What do you call a bear that has no teeth?
A: A gummy bear.
Q: Why do pandas like old movies?
A: Because they’re in black and white.
Q: What did the teddy bear say after dessert?
A: I’m stuffed!
Q: What does Baloo the Bear pack for a trip?
A: Just the “Bear” necessities.
Q: What do you call a grizzly bear at the North Pole?
A: Lost.
Looking for more jokes about bears? Here you go!
Q: What color socks do bears wear?
A: They don’t wear socks, they have bear feet!
Q: What’s black and white, black and white, and black and white?
A: A panda bear rolling down a hill.
Q: How do polar bears send letters?
A: By bear mail.
Q: What is black and white and red all over?
A: A panda bear with a bad sunburn.
Q: How do black bears keep their den cool in summer?
A: They use bear conditioning.
Q: What kind of hugs do polar bears give?
A: Bear hugs!
