Looking for basketball jokes?
This is the best collection of jokes about basketball you’ll find anywhere.
Not only are these basketball jokes a slam dunk, but they are clean and safe for kids of all ages.
These basketball jokes are especially great for parents, basketball coaches, gym teachers and basketball players – but the are fun for everyone who enjoys watching or playing basketball.
If you’re coaching kids who love basketball, or you’re teaching a basketball segment in gym class, then print these out or write them down and keep them on your clipboard. It’s a great way to get your players or students in a fun mood.
Funny Basketball Jokes
Q: Why did the basketball player sign up for the crafting club?
A: He wanted to learn how to make baskets!
Q: How do basketball players stay cool during a game?
A: They stand near the fans.
Q: Who was known as the poet of basketball?
A: Longfellow.
Q: Why can’t you play a fair basketball game in the jungle?
A: Too many cheetahs.
Q: Where do point guards take their sweethearts to dance?
A: Basket balls.
A basketball riddle: Two basketball teams play a game. The home team ends up winning, but not a single man from either team scored a basket. How can this be? They were women’s basketball teams!
Q: Why violation do ghosts get called for the most in basketball?
A: Ghoul tending.
Q: What kind of basketball team cries when it loses?
A: A bawl club.
Q: What do basketball players call the first meal of the day?
A: Fast breaks.
Q: What was the lacrosse player’s favorite type of car?
A: A dodge.
Q: Where do basketball players get their uniforms?
A: New Jersey
Q: What happens to basketball players who go blind?
A: They become referees.
Q: Why couldn’t the basketball player listen to his music?
A: Because he broke a record.
Q: Why are basketball players messy eaters?
A: They’re always dribbling.
Q: What do you call a person who walks back and forth screaming one minute, then sits down weeping uncontrollably the next?
A: A basketball coach
Q: Why do basketball players love donuts?
A: They love to dunk them.
Q: What do you call a pig who never passes the basketball?
A: A ball hog.
Q: Why didn’t the lousy basketball team have a website?
A: They can’t string three W’s together.
Q: Why can’t you play basketball with pigs?
A: They hog the ball.
Q: Why is basketball the yuckiest sport?
A: The players dribble all over the court.
Q: Why are scrambled eggs like a losing basketball team?
A: Because they’ve both been beaten.
Q: What do you call a pig playing basketball?
A: A ball hog.
Q: Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?
A: She ran away from the ball.
Q: Why did the basketball player sit on the bench doodling pictures of chickens?
A: He was asked by the coach to draw fowls (fouls).
Q: Why did the basketball player go to jail?
A: Because he shot the ball.
Q: What’s the difference between a basketball player and a dog?
A: One dribbles, the other drools.
Q: What kind of stories are told by basketball players?
A: Tall Tales.
Q: Why are babies good at basketball?
A: Because they’re always dribbling.
Q: What time is it when a basketball team chases a baseball team?
A: Five after nine. (9:05)
Q: What did March say to the madness?
A: What’s all that bracket?
Q: What’s the difference between a ball hog and time?
A: Time passes.
Q: Why are college basketball players so excited to make it to the last hole in golf?
A: They love the final fore.
Q: Which basketball player wears the biggest sneakers?
A: The one with the biggest feet!
Q: What did the bumble bee say after making a foul shot?
A: Hive scored
Q: Why did the chicken get ejected from the basketball game?
A: For persistent fowl play.
Hanging in the trophy chest at the High School were basketball team photos from past school teams. A player in each photo held a basketball identifying the year – 72-73, 73-74, 74-75, etc.. One day, a freshman was looking curiously at the photos. Turning to a teacher, he said, “Isn’t it wierd how every team lost by just one point?”
Q: Why was Cinderella such a poor basketball player?
A: Her coach was a pumpkin.
Q: What do you call an unbelievable story about a basketball player?
A: A tall tale.
Q: What did the announcer say about the team that kept losing?
A: They’re a team in transition – they’re going from bad to worse.
Q: In what sport is a basket filled but never gets full?
A: Basketball.
Q: Why do basketball players love cookies?
A: Because they can dunk them.
Q: Where do basketball players always get their coffee?
A: Dunkin’ Donuts
Q: Who is the best basketball player in the Hundred Acre Wood?
A: Tigger because he loves to bounce!
