This collection of baseball jokes for kids, parents, teachers, players and coaches is a real home run!
You’ll find jokes about pitchers, catchers, flies, plates and more. Classic baseball jokes and new jokes that you’ve never heard before.
These jokes about baseball are great for everyone – they’re clean and safe for all ages. Treat your little league players to some funny baseball jokes to start off your next practice.
Fun Baseball Facts: The first official game of baseball was played in 1846. The longest professional baseball game in history was in 1984 and lasted 8 hours and 6 minutes. The shortest lasted 51 minutes in the year 1919.
Baseball Jokes for Kids
Q: What are lumberjack baseball players really good at?
A: Being the cut-off man.
Q: Why did the baseball coach bring a traffic light to the game?
A: To send signals.
Q: Which rock band do outfielders like to listen to?
A: The Black Crow-Hops.
Q: What keeps the beat in a baseball song?
A: The base line. (bass line)
Q: Why do pitchers like to eat at White Castle?
A: They love the sliders. (slider is a small burger)
Q: Why did the sliding shorts go to so many sporting events?
A: It was an athletic supporter.
Q: Why did the pirate captain want to hire a baseball catcher?
A: He knew he had a chest protector.
Q: What did home plate say about the ball?
A: It’s pointless.
Q: How do baseball players stay cool?
A: By sitting next to the fans.
Q: What has 18 legs and catches flies?
A: A baseball team
Q: How is a baseball team similar to a pancake?
A: They both need a good batter.
Q: Which animal is best at hitting a baseball?
A: The bat.
Q: Why did the baseball player go to the car dealer?
A: He wanted a sales pitch.
Q: Where does a baseball player go when he needs a new uniform?
A: New Jersey.
Q: Why is a baseball umpire like an angry chicken?
A: They both have fowl mouths.
Q: Where shouldn’t a baseball player ever wear red?
A: In the bull pen.
Q: What do baseball players put their food on?
A: Home plates.
Q: Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd base, or from 2nd base to 3rd base?
A: 2nd to 3rd because there is a short stop in the middle.
Q: When should baseball players wear armor?
A: When they play knight games.
Q: What did the baseball player do when the coach said to steal second?
A: He stole the base and went home.
Q: What cartoon character is the best at baseball?
A: Homer Simpson.
Q: Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd base, or from 2nd base to 3rd base?
A: 2nd to 3rd because there is a short stop in the middle.
Q: What do you get when you cross a tree with a baseball player?
A: Babe Root.
Q: What type of baseball do they play in England?
A: Tea Ball.
Q: Why are baseball players so rich?
A: Because they play on diamonds.
Q: What is one of the rules in zebra baseball ?
A: Three stripes and you’re out.
Q: Where did the baseball player wash his socks?
A: In the bleachers.
Q: Why did the police officer go to the baseball game?
A: He heard that someone stole second base.
Q: Why don’t baseball players join unions?
A: They don’t like to be called out on strikes.
Q: Did you hear the joke about the pop fly?
A: Nevermind. It’s over your head.
Q: Why didn’t the skeleton play baseball?
A: His heart wasn’t in it
Q: What is a baseball player’s favorite thing about going to the park?
A: The swings.
Q: Why are frogs good outfielders?
A: They never miss a fly.
Q: What do you get when you cross a baseball player with a monster?
A: A double header.
Q: Why are baseball games at night?
A: Because bats sleep during the day.
Q: How often do baseball players call each other?
A: They touch base every once in a while.
Q: Did you hear the joke about the fast pitch?
A: Oops – You just missed it.
Q: Why are some umpires overweight?
A: Because they always clean their plate.
Q: What do you get when you cross a pitcher with the Invisible Man?
A: Pitching like no one has ever seen.
Q: Why are singers good at baseball ?
A: They have a perfect pitch.
Q: What do you get when you cross a tree with a baseball player?
A: Babe Root.
Q: Why are baseball players so rich?
A: Because they play on diamonds.
Q: Where do baseball bats wash up?
A: In the bat tub.
Q: What do you get when you cross a baseball pitcher with a carpet?
A: A throw rug.
Q: What do catchers wear on halloween?
A: Face Masks!
Q: How do baseball players stay cool?
A: By standing close to the fans.
Q: Why are chickens such bad umpires?
A: They always call fowl balls.
Q: Why was the tiny ghost asked to join the baseball team?
A: They needed a little team spirit.
Q: Why didn’t the dog want to play baseball?
A: It was a boxer.
Q: Which baseball player wears the biggest helmet?
A: The one with the biggest head.
Q: Where do pitchers go to dance?
A: At a base ball!
Q: What do baseball players do when they get overheated?
A: They get closer to one of the fans.
Q: Why didn’t the skeleton play baseball?
A: His heart wasn’t in it
Q: Why are centipedes not allowed to play on bug baseball teams?
A: It takes too long to put their cleats on
Q: Why did the baseball player go to the car dealer?
A: He wanted a sales pitch.
Q: Where do a baseball players go when they need a new uniform?
A: New Jersey.
Q: Why is a baseball umpire like an angry chicken?
A: They both have fowl mouths.
Q: When should baseball players wear armor?
A: When they play knight games.
Q: Which state should the Pittsburgh Pirates move to?
A: Arrrrrrrrrkansas
Q: What do you get when you cross a pitcher with a carpet?
A: A throw rug.
Q: What did the outfielder say to the baseball?
A: Catch you later.
Q: What is harder to catch the faster you run?
A: Your breath!
Q: Which baseball player wears the biggest cleats?
A: The one with the biggest feet!
Q: Where do you get dirt stains out of baseball pants?
A: In the bleachers
Q: What is it called when a dinosaur gets a homerun?
A: A dino-score
Q: Who is the Captain of the Pittsburgh Pirates?
A: Captain Hook!
Q: Why shouldn’t you play baseball in the jungle?
A: There are too many cheetahs!
Q. Why did the baseball player bring string to the game?
A: So he could tie the score
Q. What runs around a baseball field but never moves?
A: A fence
Q: What did the bumble bee baseball player say after crossing home plate?
A: Hive scored
Q: Why did the chicken get ejected from the baseball game?
A: For persistent fowl play.
Q: Why can’t Pittsburgh Pirates play golf?
A: They always hook the ball.
Q: Where to New Yorker’s buy gifts?
A: Yankee Candle.
Q: Which great Yankee baseball player lived in a park?
A: Yogi Beara
Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Tess me.
Tess me who?
Tess me the baseball!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Bass.
Bass who?
Bass-ball is my favorite sport.
