Funny Milwaukee Brewers jokes for Brewers fans and baseball fans of all ages.
This is the best collection of clean Milwaukee Brewers jokes anywhere!
These jokes about the Brewers baseball team are great for parents, teachers, Milwaukee Brewers fans, baseball coaches, babysitters and kids of all ages. They’re even good for Cubs fans looking for some good-hearted jokes at the Brewers expense!
Throwing a Milwaukee Brewers party? These jokes about the Milwaukee Brewers will bring lots laughs. Write them on pieces of paper or Post-it notes and spread them around. Do a standup routine or print them out and do a joke karaoke during the 7th inning stretch.
According to WikiPedia… In 1998, the Brewers joined the National League. They are the only franchise to play in four divisions since the advent of divisional play in Major League Baseball in 1969. They are also one of two MLB franchises to switch leagues in their history, along with the Houston Astros. The team’s only World Series appearance came in 1982.
Milwaukee Brewers Jokes
Q: Which Brewers baseball player holds water?
A: Brandon Woodruff – because he a pitcher.
Q: Why are some Miller Park umpires overweight?
A: They always clean their plate.
Q: Why did Craig Counsell want spiders to play for the Brewers?
A: They know how to catch flies.
Q: Why did the police officer go to Miller Park?
A: Someone stole second base!
Q: What’s more impressive than seeing a line drive?
A: Seeing a baseball park.
Q: Which superhero did the Brewers try to sign as their designated hitter?
A: Batman.
Q: What’s the silliest song to sing at Miller Park?
A: “Take Me Out to the Ballgame” because everyone is already there!
Q: What do young Brewers fans like about going to the park?
A: The swings.
Q: Why did Craig Counsell only want frogs in the outfield?
A: They never miss a fly.
Q: What do you get when you cross Freddy Peralta with a carpet?
A: A throw rug.
Q: How do Milwaukee Brewers baseball players stay cool?
A: By standing close to the fans.
Q: Why was the tiny ghost asked to join the Milwaukee Brewers team?
A: They needed a little team spirit.
Q: Why do the Brewers lose so many day games?
A: Their bats only wake up at night.
Q: What’s did Freddy Peralta and a professional bowler have in common?
A: You can count on them both to throw strikes.
Q: Why shouldn’t toddlers wear Milwaukee Brewers jerseys?
A: It would be a choking hazard.
Q: Why should you take Corey Knebel camping with you?
A: To pitch the tent.
Q: Why did Hank Aaron wear old stockings when he played?
A: They had runs in them!
Q. Why did Jackie Robinson bring string to the game?
A: So he could tie the score if he had to.
Q: What do average Cubs fans get on their I.Q. tests?
A: Lots of drool.
Q: Who would be the best choice as a Brewers relief pitcher?
A: The mummy – because he knows how to wrap up.
Q: What do Brewers ballplayers do when their eyesight goes bad?
A: They get jobs as an umpire.
Q: What does a dirty floor and the Milwaukee Brewers have in common?
A: They both can sweep.
Q: What do Milwaukee Brewers lose every night?
A. Their shadows.
Q: According to a new poll 95 percent of people love watching baseball.
A: The other 5 percent are Cubs fans.
Q: If the Milwaukee Bucks basketball team were chasing the Milwaukee Brewers baseball team, what time would it be?
A: Five after nine.
Q: What do you get when you cross a Brewers baseball player with a monster?
A: A double header.
Q: Which Milwaukee Brewers player wears the biggest helmet?
A: The one with the biggest head.
Q: Where does Jeremy Jeffress go to dance?
A: At a base ball!
Q: What did Manny Pina say to the baseball?
A: Catch you later.
Q: Why is hotter after a Brewers baseball game?
A: All the fans have left.
Q: When is a Brewers outfielder like a spider?
A: When he catches flies.
Q. What runs around a Miller Park’s field but never moves?
A: A fence
Q: Why did the police officer go to the Milwaukee Brewers game?
A: He heard that someone stole second base.
Q: Where did the baseball player wash his pants?
A: In the bleachers.
Q: Why are Milwaukee Brewers players so rich?
A: Because they play on diamonds.
Q: What does Manny Pina wear on halloween?
A: A Face Mask. (He plays catcher)
Q: Did you tell Christian Yelich the joke about the pop fly?
A: Don’t – it will just go over his head.
Q: What will Milwaukee Brewers players never let their kids do?
A: Join the Cubs Scouts.
Q: What is harder for Travis Shaw to catch the faster he runs?
A: His breath!
Q: Whats the difference between Milwaukee Brewers fans and mosquitos?
A: Mosquitos are only annoying during the summer.
Q: What’s the difference between a Brewers fan and a baby?
A: Babies stop whining after a little awhile.
Q: What do the Milwaukee Brewers and lawn furniture have in common?
A: They both fold in October.
Q: Why is Halloween the Milwaukee Brewers favorite holiday?
A: It’s the only thing they have to do in October.
Q: How are the Milwaukee Brewers like a grizzly bear?
A: Every October, they go into hibernation.
Q: Why doesn’t the Milwaukee Brewers baseball team have a website?
A: They don’t know how to string three W’s together.
Q: Why doesn’t Green Bay have a professional baseball team?
A: Because then Milwaukee would want one too.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Phillip.
Phillip who?
Let’s Phillip the bases and score some points.
Q: What does Joakim Soria and the mailman have in common?
A: Neither deliver at night.
Q: How often do Brewers players call each other during the off-season?
A: They touch base every once in a while.
Q: Why did the Milwaukee Brewers players cry when they lost?
A: They’re a bawl club.
Q: What does Craig Counsell (Brewers manager) and Alex Trebek have in common?
A: Both of their jobs are in Jeopardy.
Q: How did Wade Miley pitch a winning baseball game without throwing a ball?
A: He only threw strikes.
Q. Why do ducks fly over Miller Park upside down?
A. There’s nothing worth looking at.
Brewers Riddle: Jeremy Jeffress leaves home, makes a left turn, another left, and then another left before going home again. When he gets home he finds two men in masks waiting for him! Who are they? Answer: Willson Contreras (catcher) and the umpire.
Q: What do you call the winning team at Brewers home game?
A: Visitors.
Q: Why are centipedes not allowed to play for the Milwaukee Brewers?
A: It takes too long to put their cleats on.
Q: What did the Milwaukee Brewers fan do when his team won the World Series?
A: Turned off his Xbox.
Q: Who walks back and forth screaming one minute, then sits down weeping uncontrollably the next?
A: Craig Counsell – manager of the Milwaukee Brewers baseball team
Q: How do you know when a Brewers pitcher is having a bad day on the mound?
A: When the crowd starts to sing “Take Him Out of The Ball Game.”
Q: What can you do just as well as a Milwaukee Brewers player?
A: Watch the World Series live on TV.
Q: What rule did the zebra umpire have to explain to the Brewers?
A: Three stripes and you’re out.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Uriah.
Uriah who?
Keep Uriah on the ball.
Q: What do you call 40 rich people sitting around a TV to watch the World Series?
A: The Milwaukee Brewers.
Q: Why did the Brewers shut down their website?
A: They weren’t getting any hits.
Q: What’s the difference between a Miller Park hot dog and a Wrigley Field hot dog?
A: Miller Park hot dogs are still being sold in October.
Q: Why is Freddy Peralta such a good singer?
A: Because he has a perfect pitch.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Bass.
Bass who?
Bass-ball is my favorite sport.
Q: What did Orlando Arcia do when the coach said to steal second?
A: He grabbed the base and took it home.
Q: Which Milwaukee Brewers player wears the biggest cleats?
A: The one with the biggest feet!
Q: When should Milwaukee Brewers players wear armor?
A: When they play knight games.
Q: Why does it take Orlando Arcia longer to run from 2nd base to 3rd base than from 1st base to 2nd base?
A: Because there is a short stop in the middle.
Q: Where shouldn’t a Milwaukee Brewers pitcher ever wear red?
A: In the bull pen.
Q: Which cartoon character was Craig Counsell trying to get on the team?
A: Homer Simpson.
Q: Why is Craig Counsell like an angry chicken?
A: They both have fowl mouths.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Howey.
Howey who?
Howey run so fast to first base?
Q: Why did the Gio Gonzalez go to the car dealer?
A: He wanted to learn a sales pitch.
Q: How is the Milwaukee Brewers roster similar to a pancake?
A: They both need good batters.
Q: What has 18 legs and catches flies?
A: The Milwaukee Brewers.
Q: How do Milwaukee Brewers fans get down from the bleachers?
A: They don’t – you can only get down from a goose.
Q: How do Milwaukee Brewers baseball players stay cool?
A: By sitting next to the fans.
Q: What does Manny Pina put his food on?
A: Home plate.
Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Tess me.
Tess me who?
Tess me the baseball!
Q: What is harder for Orlando Arcia to catch the faster he runs?
A: His breath!
Q: Did you hear the joke about the Milwaukee Brewers baseball?
A: It will leave you in stitches.
Q: What did the Milwaukee Brewers think about their new stadium lights?
A: They gave it GLOWING reviews.
Q: What song do Brewers fans sing before the bottom of the ninth inning?
A: None… the fans have already left by then!
Q: Where do Milwaukee Brewers players go when they need new uniforms?
A: New Jersey.
Q: Which Brewers player helped build the stadium?
A: Hammerin’ Hank Aaron.
