Cold Weather Jokes

Check out our collection of cold weather jokes for kids!

Not only are these jokes about cold weather great during the winter, but hey’re funny, clean and safe for all ages.

These jokes about cold weather are great for parents, grandparents, teachers, babysitters, weathermen and anyone looking to get a laugh during a cold spell.

So chill out and share some smiles these funny jokes, cold weather riddles, winter knock-knock jokes and more.

Cold Weather Jokes

Q: What do snowmen take when it gets warm?
A: A chill pill.

Q: What do you call a nice ghost on a cold night?
A: Casp-burr.

Q: Where’s the coolest place to keep money?
A: In a snow bank.

Q: Which kind of hat are always frozen?
A: Ice caps.

Q: What’s for breakfast on really cold days?
A: Snowflakes.

Q: What do you call a woman standing outside in a snow storm?
A: A snow-ma’am.

More Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓

Q: Why did the man hide his money in the snow?
A: He wanted cold hard cash.

Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Scold who?
Scold outside.

Q: What do bees do in cold weather?
A: Put on their yellow jacket.

Q: What’s on the menu at a winter barbecue?
A: Icebergers.

Q: Where did the storm tropper go to warm up during the arctic blast of cold weather?
A: The Darth Mall.

Q: What happened to the vampire who got stuck out in cold weather?
A: He got frostbite.

Q: What are the only two seasons in Antarctica?
A: Cold and Colder.

Q: What did the pig say on the really cold day?
A: Glad I’m not bacon.

Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Snow who?
Snow use. I forgot my name again.

Q: Which is the slowest, heat or cold?
A: Cold is slower – because you can catch it.

Q: How do you search Google on freezing cold days?
A: The Winternet.

How cold is it?
It’s so cold that you can only make chili dogs.

More Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓

Q: What can you wear outside on a cold day, but never be without it?
A: A sweater.

Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Snow who?
Snow laughing matter.

Q: What did the icy puddle say to the boy?
A: Want to go for a spin?

Q: Which winter month do people sleep the least?
A: February (it has the least amount of days)

How cold is it?
It’s so cold that farmers are giving tea to the cows so they won’t give ice cream.

Q: What’s a good cold weather tip?
A: Never catch snowflakes on your tongue until all the birds have flown south for the winter.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Snow who?

Q: How did Jack Frost get to work?
A: By icicle.

Q: What did the police officer say to the puddle during the winter?
A: Freeze!

How cold is it?
It’s so cold that snow refuses to come out of the cloud.

Q: What do you call kids when they’re out ice skating?
A: Chill-dren.

Still More Jokes Below ↓ ↓

How cold is it?
It’s so cold that my thermometer goes down to “are you serious?”

Q: Why is the slippery ice like music?
A: If you don’t C sharp – you’ll B flat.

Q: What did the ski hat say to the ski scarf?
A: You hang around while I go on ahead.

Q: What’s an ig?
A: A snow house without a loo. (loo is a word for bathroom)

Q: What often falls when it’s cold outside, but never gets hurt?
A: Snow

Q: What food do you get when you cross a snowman with a wolf?
A: A brrrr-grrr.

How cold is it?
It’s so cold that even Mr. Freeze is miserable.

More Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓

Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Icy who?
Icy you.

Q: Why did the boy keep his trumpet outside when it was so cold?
A: Because he liked cool music.

How cold is it?
It’s so cold that my campfire froze.

Q: What can you catch in the winter with your eyes closed?
A: A cold.

Q: How do snowmen greet one another?
A: They say “Ice to meet you”

Q: What does a cyclist ride when it’s freezing out?
A: An icicle.

Halloween Jokes on your Phone or Device

Never search for clean Halloween jokes again – Download them now instead. Get EVERY Halloween joke you’ll ever need right now and access them anytime on your PC, phone, tablet, Kindle or other device – forever! #1 for Parents and Teachers! Great for parties, events, cards and trick-or-treating. Plus you’ll get a fun bonus – Halloween Lunch Box Jokes Printable (30+ Days of Jokes).