Looking for funny Superbowl jokes for the Patriots – Rams game? These are the best Super Bowl LIII jokes you’ll find anywhere.
Not only are these Super Bowl 53 jokes funny, but they are clean and safe for children and people of all ages.
Super Bowl LIII will be played by the New England Patriots and Los Angeles Rams at Mercedes-Benz Stadium in Atlanta, the home field of the Atlanta Falcons.
These Superbowl football jokes are especially great for parties, parents, teachers, children, Rams fans, Patriots fans, football fans and coaches – and everyone who enjoys the big game.
Super Bowl LIII Jokes
Q: Which New England Patriots player wears the biggest helmet?
A: The one with the biggest head.
Q: What do New England Patriots players wear on halloween?
A: Face Masks!
Q: What do New England Patriots receivers and the Post Office have in common?
A: Neither will be open on Super Bowl Sunday!
Q: What’s the difference between New England Patriots fans and mosquitoes?
A: Mosquitoes are only annoying in the summer.
Q: What kind of tea do New England Patriots football players drink?
A: Penaltea
Q: Which Patriots player can jump higher than a house?
A: All of them – houses can’t jump at all.
Q: Where does James White like to eat?
A: Fast food restaurants (because he was very fast).
Q: Why was the tiny ghost asked to join the New England Patriots football team?
A: They needed a little team spirit.
Q: Why did the football quit playing with the New England Patriots ?
A: It was tired of being kicked around.
Q: Why doesn’t the Kansas City Chiefs football team have a website?
A: They can’t string three playoff W’s together.
Q: What will the Patriots quarterback watch on TV to make him feel at home the night before the Super Bowl?
A: The Brady Bunch.
Q: Why couldn’t the Chargers go to Super Bowl LIII?
A: Because it’s a Mercedes-Benz Stadium.
Q: What did the Rams fan say when his team made it to the Super Bowl?
A: Ewe have to be kidding me!
Q: Why did Aaron Donald go to the bank?
A: To get a quarter back.
Q: What do you call 106 millionaires around a TV watching Super Bowl LIII?
A: The New Orleans Saints and Kansas City Chiefs.
Q: What does Sean McVay and the mailman have in common?
A: Neither will deliver on Super bowl Sunday.
Q: Why shouldn’t toddlers wear Jared Goff jerseys?
A: Too much of a choking hazard.
Q: According to a new poll 95 percent of people are excited to watch Super bowl 53.
A: The other 5 percent are Saints fans.
Q: What did Aaron Donald (Rams Defensive End) have stuck in his teeth?
A: A quarterback!
Q: Who was the football fan looking for in Atlanta?
A: The Lost Angeles Rams.
Q: How do LA Rams get attention in the Mercedes-Benz Stadium parking lot?
A:With their horns!
Q: What kind of truck do L.A. football fans drive to Super Bowl 53?
A: Dodge RAMS.
Q: What’s the difference between a Saints fan and a puppy?
A: The puppy eventually grows up and stops whining about the Rams game.
Q: What do Patriots fans and house flies have in common?
A: They’re both annoying.
Q: What keeps Rams players up at night?
A: Nighmares about Sean Payton coming to get them.
Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Tess me.
Tess me who?
Tess me the football Tom Brady!
Q: Which New England Patriots player wears the biggest cleats?
A: The one with the biggest feet!
Q: Why did Jared Goff get heartburn after eating birthday cake?
A: He forgot to take off the candles.
Q. Why did Greg Zuerlein bring string to the game?
A: Just in case he needed to tie the score
Q. What runs around Atlanta’s Mercedez-Benz but never moves?
A: A wall
Q: What does every Los Angeles Rams player do on their birthday?
A: They get older!
Q: What’s as big as Aaron Donald, but weighs nothing?
A: His shadow.
Q. What’s the difference between Todd Gurley and a duck?
A. One goes quick and the other goes quack.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Howey.
Howey who?
Howey run so fast?
Q: Why does Sean McVay draft ballet dancers as Rams kickers?
A: They know how to split the uprights!
Q: Why was Cooper Kupp nicknamed “Bad News?”
A: Everyone knows that bad news travels fast.
Q: How do the Rams hire their players?
A: With two pairs of stilts.
Q: What was the Rams fan planning to do when his team won the Super Bowl?
A: Turn off his XBox.
Q: Why did the Saints football players cry when they lost to the Rams?
A: They’re a bawl club.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Hanna.
Hanna who?
Hanna ball off to me Tom!
Q: What can L.A. Rams players catch at Mile High Stadium?
A: Bronco-itis
Q: What did the L.A. Rams think about the stadium lights at Mercedes-Benz stadium?
A: They gave it GLOWING reviews.
Q: Where do Rams football players dance?
A: At a foot ball!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Uriah.
Uriah who?
Keep Uriah on the ball Josh Reynolds!
Q: What’s the difference between the Rams and a dollar bill?
A: You can always get four quarters out of a dollar bill.
Q: What do you get when you cross Jared Goff with a carpet?
A: A throw rug.
Q: How is Todd Gurley similar to water?
A: They both can run!
Q: What do you call a Saints player at Super Bowl 53?
A: A spectator.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Hans.
Hans who?
Hans to the face is a penalty.
Q: Where should you go if you are scared of catching a cold?
A: The Rams end zone – they don’t catch anything there.
Q: What will Tom Brady call Ndamukong Suh when he’s heading his way?
A: Nothing – he’s just going to run!
Q: Why are centipedes not allowed to play for the Rams ?
A: It takes too long to put their cleats on.
Q: How do you hire a good Rams punter?
A: By putting him on stilts.
Q: Why won’t Tom Brady eat his Wheaties?
A: He is waiting for a super bowl.
Q: What’s the best way to teach your dog to roll over?
A: Have him watch the Chiefs defend against Tom Brady.
Q: What kind of pastry Does Aqib Talib eat most?
A: Turnovers!
Q: What’s the hardest thing about being a Patriots quarterback?
A: The ground.
Q: What’s as big as Bill Belichick’s head, but weighs nothing?
A: It’s shadow.
Q: Who walks back and forth screaming one minute, then sits down weeping uncontrollably the next?
A: Bill Belichick – coach of the New England Patriots football team
Q: How does Tom Brady get signals from the sideline?
A: Bill Belichick sends in a tape.
Q: What keeps Patriots players up at night?
A: Nighmares about Eli Manning.
Q: What is Tom Brady’s favorite letter of the alphabet?
A: Sssssss! (the sound of air deflating from a ball)
Q: What’s the most amazing thing you’ll see at Super Bowl 53?
A: A Grown Cow Ski.
Q. Why did Stephen Gostkowski bring string to the game?
A: Just in case he needed to tie the score
Q: Why was Sony Michel nicknamed “Bad News?”
A: Because bad news travels fast.
Q: How are scrambled eggs like Rams cornerbacks?
A: They’re both beaten.
Q: Why will it be warmer at Atlanta’s stadium after the Super Bowl?
A: All the fans will be gone.
Q: Why didn’t the dog want to play in the Super Bowl for the Rams?
A: It was a boxer.
Q: What do you call a Chiefs player at Superbowl LIII?
A: Lost.
Q: How does Bill Belichick hire his players?
A: With two pairs of stilts.
Q: Who’s the smartest player on the Pats team?
A: Tom Brainy.
Q: How did Tom Brady (New England Patriots quarterback) know he was about to get sacked in Chicago?
A: He heard them BEARING down on him.
Q: What is harder for a New England Patriots receiver to catch the faster he runs?
A: His breath!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Hanna.
Hanna who?
Hanna ball off to me Tom Brady!
Q: What do New England Patriots lose every night?
A. Their shadows.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Howey.
Howey who?
Howey run so fast?
Q: What did Josh Gordon say to the football before the game?
A: Catch you later.
Q: Did you hear about the joke that Tom Brady told his receivers?
A: It went over their heads.
Q: What do New England Patriots players do when they get overheated?
A: They get closer to the fans.
Q: Why can’t Tom Brady use his phone?
A: Because he can’t find the receiver.
Q: Why did Tom Brady make his bed out of straw?
A: To feed his night mares (about getting sacked!)
Q. How are New England Patriots opponents like lazy neighbors?
A. They rarely pick up a yard.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Uriah.
Uriah who?
Keep Uriah on the ball Josh Gordon!
Q: When should New England Patriots football players wear armor?
A: At the Super Bowl – because they’re knight games.
Q: What’s the difference between the New England Patriots and water?
A: Water runs.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Hans.
Hans who?
Hans to the face is a penalty.
Q: What is the difference between a New England Patriots fan and a baby?
A: Babies stop crying after awhile.
Q: Why did Dont’a Hightower go to the bank?
A: To get a quarter back.
