Looking for funny New Orleans Saints Jokes? These are the best Saints jokes you’ll find anywhere.
Not only are these Saints jokes funny, but they are clean and safe for kids of all ages.
Are the New Orleans Saints making it to the Super Bowl this year? Do they have what it takes to win the Superbowl? These New Orleans football jokes are especially great for parents, teachers, children, Saints fans, football fans and coaches – but they are fun for everyone.
New Orleans Saints Jokes
Q. What is the smelliest football team in the NFL?
A. The New Orleans Scents
Q. Which team did the English teacher at Louisiana High School root for?
A. The New Orleans Sisn’ts. (because aint isn’t a word!)
Q. Why was the grandfather never happy with the New Orleans Saints?
A. He never thought they measured up to the Old Orleans Saints.
Q. What did the Saints quarterback say after he got sacked by an Denver Bronco?
A. Help – I’ve fallen and I can’t giddy up.
Q: What upsets Sean Payton most when he plays the Colts?
A: Too much horse play on the field.
Q: How does Sean Payton clean up a mess?
A: Bounty.
Q: What does every New Orleans Saints player do on their birthday?
A: They get older!
Q: Why does Sean Payton draft ballet dancers as Saints kickers?
A: They know how to split the uprights!
Q: What’s the difference between a New Orleans Saints fan and a puppy?
A: The puppy eventually grows up and stops whining.
Q: What keeps New Orleans Saints players up at night?
A: Nighmares about Falcons.
Q: What do New Orleans Saints fans and house flies have in common?
A: They’re both annoying.
Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Tess me.
Tess me who?
Tess me the football Drew!
Q: Which New Orleans Saints player wears the biggest cleats?
A: The one with the biggest feet!
Q: Why did Drew Brees get heartburn after eating birthday cake?
A: He forgot to take off the candles.
Q. Why did Wil Lutz bring string to the game?
A: Just in case he needed to tie the score
Q. What runs around Mercedes-Benz Superdome but never moves?
A: A wall
Q: Why was Dez Bryant nicknamed “Bad News?”
A: Everyone knows that bad news travels fast.
Q: How do the Saints hire their players?
A: With two pairs of stilts.
Q: What’s the hardest thing about being a Saints quarterback?
A: The ground.
Q: What’s as big as Cameron Jordan, but weighs nothing?
A: His shadow.
Q. What’s the difference between Alvin Kamara and a duck?
A. One goes quick and the other goes quack.
Q: What did the Saints fan do when his team won the Super Bowl?
A: He turned off his XBox.
Q: What are successful Saints kickers always trying to do?
A: Reach goals.
Q: Who walks back and forth screaming one minute, then sits down weeping uncontrollably the next?
A: Sean Payton – coach of the New Orleans Saints football team
Q: Why did the New Orleans football players cry when they lost?
A: They’re a bawl club.
Q: Who did the New Orleans Saints zombie team play during preseason?
A: The DEADskins.
Q: What makes it so chilly outside the Superdome in New Orleans?
A: Drew Breeze.
Q: How did Drew Brees (Saints quarterback) know he was about to get sacked in Chicago?
A: He heard them BEARing down on him.
Q: What is harder for a Ted Ginn Jr. to catch the faster he runs?
A: His breath!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Hanna.
Hanna who?
Hanna ball off to me Drew!
Q: What do Saints players lose every night?
A. Their shadows.
Q: What can New Orleans Saints players catch at Mile High Stadium?
A: Bronco-itis
Q: What did the New Orleans Saints think about their new stadium lights?
A: They gave it GLOWING reviews.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Howey.
Howey who?
Howey run so fast?
Q: What did Dez Bryant say to the football before the game?
A: Catch you later.
Q: Did you hear about the joke that Drew Brees told his receivers?
A: It went over their heads.
Q: What do Saints players do when they get overheated?
A: They get closer to the fans.
Q: Why can’t Drew Brees use his phone?
A: Because he can’t find the receiver.
Q: Why did quarterback Drew Brees make his bed out of straw?
A: To feed his night mares (about getting sacked!)
Q. How are Saints opponents like lazy neighbors?
A. They rarely pick up a yard.
Q: Where do Saints football players dance?
A: At a foot ball!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Uriah.
Uriah who?
Keep Uriah on the ball Michael Thomas!
Q: What’s the difference between the Saints and a dollar bill?
A: You can always get four quarters out of a dollar bill.
Q: When should Saints football players wear armor?
A: When they play knight games.
Q: What do you get when you cross Drew Brees with a carpet?
A: A throw rug.
Q: How is Alvin Kamara similar to water?
A: They both can run!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Hans.
Hans who?
Hans to the face is a penalty.
Q: What is the difference between a Saints fan and a baby?
A: Babies stop crying after awhile.
Q: Why did Cameron Jordan go to the bank?
A: To get a quarter back.
Q: What do you call 53 millionaires around a TV watching the Super Bowl?
A: The New Orleans Saints.
Q: Which Saints player wears the biggest helmet?
A: The one with the biggest head.
Q: What do you call a New Orleans player at the Super Bowl?
A: A spectator.
Q: What does Sean Payton and the mailman have in common?
A: Neither will delivers on Superbowl Sunday.
Q: Why shouldn’t toddlers wear Saints jerseys?
A: Too much of a choking hazard.
Q: According to a new poll 95 percent of people love Sundays.
A: The other 5 percent are Saints fans.
Q: Where should you go if you are scared of catching a cold?
A: The Saints end zone – they don’t catch anything there.
Q: What do quarterbacks call Alex Anzalone when he’s heading their way?
A: They don’t call them anything – they just run!
Q: Why are centipedes not allowed to play for the Saints?
A: It takes too long to put their cleats on.
Q: How do you hire a good Saints punter?
A: By putting him on stilts.
Q: Why didn’t Drew Brees eat cereal?
A: He was waiting for a super bowl.
Q: What’s a touchdown?
A: I’m not sure – I’m a Saints fan.
Q: What did Cameron Jordan (Saints Defensive End) have stuck in his teeth?
A: A quarterback!
Q: What do New Orleans players wear on halloween?
A: Face Masks!
Q: How do you keep New Orleans Saints out of your yard?
A: Put up goal posts.
Q: What do New Orleans Saints receivers and the Post Office have in common?
A: Neither is open on Sundays!
Q: What’s the best way to teach your dog to roll over?
A: Have him watch the New Orleans Saints defense play a game.
Q: What do you call a New Orleans Saints player at the Superbowl?
A: Lost.
Q: Where do you go in New Orleans in case of a tornado?
A: The Superdome – they never get a touchdown there!
Q: What’s the difference between New Orleans Saints fans and mosquitoes?
A: Mosquitoes are only annoying in the summer.
Q: What kind of pastry Does Eli Apple eat most?
A: Turnovers!
Q: What kind of tea do Saints football players drink?
A: Penaltea
Q: How are scrambled eggs like New Orleans Saints safeties?
A: They’re both beaten.
Q: Why is it always warmer at the Superdome after the game?
A: All the fans have left.
Q: What happens to Saints players who go blind?
A: They become referees.
Q: Which Saints player can jump higher than a house?
A: All of them – houses can’t jump at all.
Q: Where does Alvin Kamara like to eat?
A: Fast food restaurants (because he’s fast).
Q: Why was the tiny ghost asked to join the Saints football team?
A: They needed a little team spirit.
Q: Why didn’t the dog want to play football for the Saints?
A: It was a boxer.
Q: Where is a ghost’s favorite spot in the Superdome ?
A: Under the ghoul posts!
Q: Why did the football quit playing with the Saints?
A: It was tired of being kicked around.
Q: Why doesn’t the Saints football team have a website?
A: They can’t string three W’s together.
Q: What books does the Saints quarterback read while he’s on the road?
A: Nancy Drew.
Q: Why couldn’t the Saints running back get into his house?
A: An end zone was painted on his front door.
