Los Angeles Dodgers Jokes

Funny Los Angeles Dodgers jokes for Dodgers fans and baseball fans of all ages.

This is the best collection of clean LA Dodgers jokes anywhere!

These jokes about the Dodgers baseball team are great for parents, teachers, Los Angeles Dodgers fans, baseball coaches, baseball fans and kids of all ages. They’re even good for Sand Francisco Giants fans looking for some good-hearted jokes at the Dodgers expense!

Throwing a Dodgers baseball party? These jokes about the L.A. Dodgers will bring lots laughs. Write them on pieces of paper or Post-it notes and spread them around. Do a standup routine or print them out and do a joke karaoke during the 7th inning stretch.

Did you know… The Dodgers are a team with a lot of big “firsts” in the record books. Here are some of them, according to WikiPedia:

  • First baseball team to win championships in different leagues in consecutive years (1889–1890)
  • First television broadcast (1939)
  • First use of batting helmets (1941)
  • First MLB team to employ and start an African-American player in the 20th century (Jackie Robinson, 1947)
  • First MLB team to have numbers on the front of their uniforms (1952)
  • First West Coast team (1958) – along with the San Francisco Giants
  • First MLB team to allow a female sports journalist into a locker room (Anita Martini, 1974)
  • First MLB team to open an office in Asia (1998)
  • First MLB team to employ a female lead trainer (Sue Falsone, 2012)

Los Angeles Dodgers Jokes

Q: What sports league do LA baseball players sign up for during the off season?
A: Dodge ball.

Q: Who is the wealthiest L.A. Dodgers player?
A: Rich Hill (he’s rich!)

Q: What’s the WORST name for a Dodgers pitcher?
A: Walker Buehler (who wants walks!)

Q: Who is the coolest Dodgers baseball player?
A: David Freese (freeze!)

Q: Which Dodgers baseball player holds water?
A: Walker Buehler – because he a pitcher.

More Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓

Q: What does Cody Bellinger do on Thanksgiving?
A: He plays baste-ball.

Q: Why are some Dodger Stadium umpires overweight?
A: They always clean their plate.

Q: How did Cody Bellinger get so good at baseball?
A: From playing with Clay as a boy (his dad’s name is Clay).

Q: Why did Dave Roberts want spiders to play for the Dodgers?
A: They know how to catch flies.

Q: Why did the police officer go to Dodger Stadium ?
A: Someone stole second base!

Q: What’s more impressive than seeing a line drive?
A: Seeing a baseball park.

Q: Which superhero did the Dodgers try to sign as their designated hitter?
A: Batman.

Q: What’s the silliest song to sing at Dodger Stadium ?
A: “Take Me Out to the Ballgame” because everyone is already there!

Q: What do young Dodgers fans like about going to the park?
A: The swings.

Q: Why did Dave Roberts only want frogs in the outfield?
A: They never miss a fly.

Q: What do you get when you cross Clayton Kershaw with a carpet?
A: A throw rug.

Q: How do Los Angeles Dodgers baseball players stay cool?
A: By standing close to the fans.

More Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓

Q: Why was the tiny ghost asked to join the Los Angeles Dodgers team?
A: They needed a little team spirit.

Q: Why do the Dodgers lose so many day games?
A: Their bats only wake up at night.

Q: What do Hyun-Jin Ryu and a professional bowler have in common?
A: You can count on them both to throw strikes.

Q: Why shouldn’t toddlers wear Los Angeles Dodgers jerseys?
A: It would be a choking hazard.

Q: Why should you take Rich Hill camping with you?
A: To pitch the tent.

Q: Why does Manny Machado wear old stockings when he plays?
A: They had runs in them!

Q. Why did Cody Bellinger bring string to the game?
A: So he could tie the score if he had to.

Q: What do average SF Giants fans get on their I.Q. tests?
A: Lots of drool.

Q: Who would be the best choice as a Dodgers relief pitcher?
A: The mummy – because he knows how to wrap up.

Q: What do Dodgers ballplayers do when their eyesight goes bad?
A: They get jobs as an umpire.

Q: What’s does a dirty floor and the Los Angeles Dodgers have in common?
A: They both get swept a lot.

Still More Jokes Below ↓ ↓

Q: What do Los Angeles Dodgers lose every night?
A. Their shadows.

Q: According to a new poll 95 percent of people love watching baseball.
A: The other 5 percent are Dodgers fans.

Q: If the LA Lakers basketball team were chasing the Los Angeles Dodgers baseball team, what time would it be?
A: Five after nine.

Q: What do you get when you cross a Dodgers baseball player with a monster?
A: A double header.

Q: Which Los Angeles Dodgers player wears the biggest helmet?
A: The one with the biggest head.

Q: Where does Joc Pederson go to dance?
A: At a base ball!

Q: What did Austin Barnes say to the baseball?
A: Catch you later.

More Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓

Q: Why is hotter after a Dodgers baseball game?
A: All the fans have left.

Q: When is a Dodgers outfielder like a spider?
A: When he catches flies.

Q. What runs around a Dodger Stadium ‘s field but never moves?
A: A fence

Q: Why did the police officer go to the Los Angeles Dodgers game?
A: He heard that someone stole second base.

Q: Where did the baseball player wash his pants?
A: In the bleachers.

Q: Why are Los Angeles Dodgers players so rich?
A: Because they play on diamonds.

Q: What does Austin Barnes ( wear on halloween?
A: A Face Mask. (He plays catcher)

Q: Did you tell Chris Taylor the joke about the pop fly?
A: Don’t – it will just go over his head.

Q: What is harder for Yasiel Puig to catch the faster he runs?
A: His breath!

Q: Whats the difference between Los Angeles Dodgers fans and mosquitos?
A: Mosquitos are only annoying during the summer.

Q: What’s the difference between a Dodgers fan and a baby?
A: Babies stop whining after a little awhile.

Q: What do the Los Angeles Dodgers and lawn furniture have in common?
A: They both fold in October.

Q: Why is Halloween the Los Angeles Dodgers favorite holiday?
A: It’s the only thing they have to do in October.

Q: How are the Los Angeles Dodgers like a grizzly bear?
A: Every October, they go into hibernation.

Q: Why doesn’t the Los Angeles Dodgers baseball team have a website?
A: They don’t know how to string three W’s together.

Q: Why doesn’t Yasiel Puig have a professional baseball team?
A: Because then Boston would want one too.

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Phillip.
Phillip who?
Let’s Phillip the bases and score some points.

Q: What does Kenta Maeda and the mailman have in common?
A: Neither deliver at night.

Q: How often do Dodgers players call each other during the off-season?
A: They touch base every once in a while.

Q: Why did the Los Angeles Dodgers players cry when they lost?
A: They’re a bawl club.

Q: What does Dave Roberts (Dodgers manager) and Alex Trebek have in common?
A: Both of their jobs are in Jeopardy.

Q: How did Kenta Maeda pitch a winning baseball game without throwing a ball?
A: He only threw strikes.

Q. Why do ducks fly over Dodger Stadium upside down?
A. There’s nothing worth looking at.

Q: Why did Cody Bellinger bring a pacifier to the game?
A: He wanted to play like the Babe.

Dodgers Riddle: Justin Turner leaves home, makes a left turn, another left, and then another left before going home again. When he gets home he finds two men in masks waiting for him! Who are they? Answer: The catcher and the umpire.

Q: What do you call the winning team at Dodgers home game?
A: Visitors.

Q: Why are centipedes not allowed to play for the Los Angeles Dodgers?
A: It takes too long to put their cleats on.

More Jokes Below ↓ ↓

Q: What did the Los Angeles Dodgers fan do when his team won the World Series?
A: Turned off his Xbox.

Q: Who walks back and forth screaming one minute, then sits down weeping uncontrollably the next?
A: Dave Roberts – manager of the Los Angeles Dodgers baseball team

Q: How do you know when a Dodgers pitcher is having a bad day on the mound?
A: When the crowd starts to sing “Take Him Out of The Ball Game.”

Q: What can you do just as well as a Los Angeles Dodgers player?
A: Watch the World Series live on TV.

Q: What rule did the zebra umpire have to explain to the Dodgers?
A: Three stripes and you’re out.

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Uriah.
Uriah who?
Keep Uriah on the ball.

Q: What do you call 40 rich people sitting around a TV to watch the World Series?
A: The Los Angeles Dodgers.

Q: Why did the Dodgers hut down their website?
A: They weren’t getting any hits.

Q: What’s the difference between a Dodger Stadium hot dog and a AT&T Park hot dog?
A: Dodger Stadium hot dogs are still being sold in October.

Q: Why is Clayton Kershaw such a good singer?
A: Because he has a perfect pitch.

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Bass.
Bass who?
Bass-ball is my favorite sport.

Q: What did Justin Turner do when the coach said to steal second?
A: He grabbed the base and took it home.

Q: Which Los Angeles Dodgers player wears the biggest cleats?
A: The one with the biggest feet!

Q: When should Los Angeles Dodgers players wear armor?
A: When they play knight games.

Q: Why does it take Manny Machado longer to run from 2nd base to 3rd base than from 1st base to 2nd base?
A: Because there is a short stop in the middle.

Q: Where shouldn’t a Los Angeles Dodgers pitcher ever wear red?
A: In the bull pen.

Q: Which cartoon character was Dave Roberts trying to get on the team?
A: Homer Simpson.

Q: Why is Dave Roberts like an angry chicken?
A: They both have fowl mouths.

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Howey.
Howey who?
Howey run so fast to first base?

Q: Why did the Rich Hill go to the car dealer?
A: He wanted to learn a sales pitch.

More Jokes Below ↓ ↓

Q: What do you get when you cross a tree with a Los Angeles Dodgers baseball player?
A: Babe Root.

Q: How is the L.A. Dodgers roster similar to a pancake?
A: They both need good batters.

Q: What has 18 legs and catches flies?
A: The Los Angeles Dodgers.

Q: How do Los Angeles Dodgers fans get down from the bleachers?
A: They don’t – you can only get down from a goose.

Q: How do Los Angeles Dodgers baseball players stay cool?
A: By sitting next to the fans.

Q: What does Austin Barnes put his food on?
A: Home plate.

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Tess me.
Tess me who?
Tess me the baseball!

Q: What is harder for David Freese to catch the faster he runs?
A: His breath!

Q: Did you hear the joke about the Los Angeles Dodgers baseball?
A: It will leave you in stitches.

Q: What did the Los Angeles Dodgers think about their new stadium lights?
A: They gave it GLOWING reviews.

Q: What song do Dodgers fans sing before the bottom of the ninth inning?
A: None… the fans have already left by then!

Q: Where do Los Angeles Dodgers players go when they need new uniforms?
A: New Jersey.

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