There’s nothing fishy about these jokes about fish! From Bass to Zebra Fish, we have the best collection of fish jokes right here. Safe for kids, funny for anyone!
Fish Jokes
Q: What did the trout detective say?
A: There’s something fishy going on here.
Q: How did the mollusk get into college?
A: On a scallopship.
Q: What kind of guitar do fish play?
A: Bass
Q: Where do women fish keep their money?
A: In their octopurse.
Q: Did you hear about the crab that went to the gym?
A: He pulled a muscle
Q: What do you get if you cross a pastor with a guppie?
A: Monkfish!
Q: What do you call a crayfish with a messy room?
A: A slobster
Q: What do fish use for money?
A: Sand dollars!
Q: How did the guppies get to the hospital?
A: In a clambulance.
Q: What kind of horse can swim underwater without coming up for air?
A: A seahorse
Q: What do you get when you cross a banker with a hammerhead?
A: A Loan shark!
Q: What do British sea monsters eat?
A: Fish & ships.
Q: What kind of fish do lion fish chase the most?
A: Zebra Fish!
Q: What birthday party game do fish like to play?
A: Salmon Says.
Q: Why don’t fish do well on school tests?
A: Because they work below C-Level.
Q: Why did the squid cross the road?
A: To get to the other tide.
Q: Why are fish so well educated?
A: They swim in schools!
Q: Where does a fish keep his money
A: In the River Bank!
Q: How do fish know their weight?
A: They have scales.
Q: Where do you weigh whales?
A: At the whale-weigh station!
Q: What is the difference between a piano and a fish?
A: You can tune a piano but you can’t tuna fish.
Q: Why do oysters go to the gym?
A: It’s good for the mussel.
Q: Who held the baby octopus for ransome?
A: Squidnappers!
Q: What do you call a fish that has two knees?
A: A tunee fish.
Q: What did the magician say to the fisherman?
A: Pick a cod, any cod!
Q: How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
A: Tentacles.
Q: How did the seahorse move so quickly?
A: He scalloped
Q: What kind of food do they serve in saunas?
A: Steamed mussels.
Q: If fish lived on land, which country would they live in?
A: Finland.
Q: What was the humpback’s favorite TV show?
A: Whale of fortune!
Q: Why don’t fish play tennis?
A: Because there afraid of the net.
Q: What does the pope eat during lent?
A: Holy mackerel!
Q: How do you keep a fish from smelling?
A: plug it’s nose.
Q: What do you call a smelly fish?
A: A stink ray.
Q: What was the name of the fish that destroyed Japan?
A: Codzilla.
Q: Who keeps the ocean clean?
A: Mermaids
Q: Did you know that sharks can also squirt ink?
A: Just Squidding!
Q: Where do teachers send fish who misbehave?
A: To the Offish
Q: What was the Russia Tsar’s favorite type of fish?
A: Tsardines!
Q: What do fish need to stay healthy?
A: Vitamin Sea.
Q: What is the best way to get in touch with a fish?
A: Drop it a line
Q: What is the most valuable type of fish?
A: A goldfish
Q: Why did the fish go to Hollywood?
A: He wanted to be a starfish!
Q: Where do fish sleep?
A: In water beds.
Q: What do you call a fish with no eye?
A: Fssshh
Q: Where do bass wash up?
A: A river basin!
Q: What kind of fish chase mice?
A: Catfish.
Q: What do English whales eat?
A: Fish and ships.
Q: What fish only swims at night?
A: A starfish!
Q: What do you call a fish in a tuxedo?
A: Very soFISHticated
Q: Which fish work in hospitals?
A: Sturgeons
Q: How do you make an Octupus laugh?
A: With ten-tickles
