Zombie Jokes

If you’re looking for zombie jokes, then we have you covered. This collection features funny jokes about zombies for parents, teachers and kids. They’re good anytime – but especially around Halloween.

Over the past few years, kids have been introduced to a world of zombies thanks go games like Plants vs. Zombies. All of these jokes are clean and safe for most ages, but take a look at them first – just in case.

Zombie Jokes

Q: What type of dogs do zombies like the most?
A: Bloodhounds.

Q: What do they use to clean the ice during the Halloweenland hockey game?
A: A Zombieoni

Q: When do you see the most zombies?
A: Halloween.

Q: What does it take to become a zombie?
A: Deadication.

Q: Why did the zombie quit his teaching job?
A: He only had one pupil left.

Q: What do they grow in the Halloweenland garden?
A: Zombeets.

Q: What do you get when you cross a zombie and a snowman?
A: Frost-Bite.

Q: What do you call zombie twins?
A: DEAD ringers.

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Q: What do zombies read every morning?
A: Their HORRORscope.

Q: Who did the zombie take out on a date?
A: His Ghoul-friend.

Q: What time do zombies wake up in the morning?
A: Ate o’clock.

Q: Who do Cowboy zombies fight?
A: The DEADskins.

Q: Do zombies eat brains with their fingers?
A: Nope – they eat the fingers separately.

Q: What does a zombie get when he’s late for dinner?
A: The cold shoulder.

Q: In what way are zombies like computers?
A: They both use megabites.

Q: Where do zombies go to vacation?
A: The DEADiterranean.

Q: Who won the zombie race?
A: Nobody – it was a dead heat.

Q: What was the zombie’s favorite toy?
A: His Deady bear.

Q: How do zombies keep their hair in place?
A: They use SCARE spray.

Q: What kind of candy do zombies hate most?
A: Life Savers.

Q: What kind of car do zombies drive?
A: Monster trucks.

Q: What did one zombie say after eating a comedian?
A: This tastes funny.

Q: Why did the Zombie join the army?
A: He heard they give out arms.

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Q: Why didn’t the zombie get the acting role?
A: They wanted someone more lively.

Q: What is black, white & dead all over?
A: A zombie penguin.

Q: Why did the zombie comedian get booed off the stage?
A: Because all the jokes he told where rotten.

Q: Why did the zombie go nuts?
A: He lost his mind.

Q: What is the safest place to be during a zombie attack?
A: A living room.

Q: Do zombies eat french fries with their fingers?
A: Nope, they eat the fingers separately.

Q: How can you tell if a zombie is tired?
A: He’s just dead on his feet.

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