Wizard Jokes

Looking for wizard jokes? Check out this great collection of clean jokes about wizards that are perfect for parents, teachers, Harry Potter fans and kids of all ages.

You can also jump over to our Harry Potter Jokes, Witch Jokes or Halloween Jokes collections.

Wizard Jokes for Kids

Q: What did the wizard name his son?
A: Maxspell.

Q: What happened to the naughty wizard at school?
A: He was ex-spelled.

Q: What did the tired wizard do?
A: He sat down for a spell.

Q: What side of a wizard has the most hair?
A: The Outside.

Q: What happens to wizards when it rains?
A: They get wet just like everyone else!

Q: Who did the wizard marry?
A: His longtime ghoul-friend.

Q: How do you make a wizard float?
A: Root beer, one scoop of ice cream, and one wizard.

Q: Who did the wizard call from the witch hotel?
A: Broom Service.

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Q: What did the doctor say to the wizard in hospital?
A: Soon you’ll feel well enough to sit up for a spell.

Q: What kind of tests do they give in wizard school?
A: Hex-aminations.

Q: What subject do they teach at wizard school?
A: Spelling.

Q: What do Italian wizards like to eat?
A: Spaghetti with sorcerer.

Q: What happened when the wizard met the witch?
A: It was love at first fright.

Q: What kind of wizard can jump higher than a mountain?
A: All of them – mountains don’t jump.

Q: Who was the most famous wizard detective?
A: Warlock Holmes.

Q: What did the wizard say to his ghost girlfriend?
A: Hello gore-juice.

Q: What was the name of the wizard science teacher?
A: Al Chemy.

Q: What’s the first thing wizard do in the morning?
A: They wake up.

Q: What was the Wizards favorite Beach Boys Song?
A: Help Me Wand-a.

Q: Why can’t wizards fish?
A: They can only cast spells.

Q: What do you get if you cross a wizard and a blizzard?
A: A cold spell.

Q: What do you call a wizard who only casts good spells?
A: Charming.

Q: Which of the wizard’s friends was good at baseball?
A: The bat.

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Q: Why did the wizard boss take the day off?
A: He had his staff fill in.

Q: What did the wizard put on his chicken?
A: Barbecue sorcerer.

Q: Who was the most famous wizard detective?
A: Warlock Holmes.

Q: Why do black cats prefer wizards to goblins?
A: Because they like sorcerers of milk.

Q: Why was the sorcerer holding a shovel?
A: It was a Bwizard outside.

Q: Who do wizards stop for on the highway?
A: Witchhikers.

Q: Why did the wizard keep turning into Mickey Mouse?
A: She kept having Disney spells.

Q: Why do wizards brush their teeth ten times a day?
A: To avoid bat breath.

Q: What do you call a wizard who comes from outer space?
A: A flying sorcerer.

Q: Which wizard wears the biggest hat?
A: The one with the biggest head.

Q: What do you get when you cross a wizard and a dinosaur?
A: Tyrannosaurus hex.

Q: What was the young wizard’s favorite part of school?
A: The spelling bee.

Q: What do you call a wizard laying in the gutter?
A: Dwayne.

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Q: What’s the first thing that a wizard does in the morning?
A: He wakes up.

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