Spider Jokes

Check out this collection of spider jokes – great for parents, teachers and kids of all ages. Halloween is a popular time for spider jokes, but is there ever a bad time for spider jokes? Nope!

These spider jokes are clean, so no worries about letting children read them. Have a little fun and put some in your child’s lunch box (the spider jokes, not spiders!)

Fun spider facts? Antarctica is the only continent in the world where you can’t find any spiders. Arachnophobia is the fear of Spiders and is one of the most common fears in the world. Spider blood is light blue in color.

Spider Jokes for Kids

Q: Why did the spider teen get in trouble with his mom?
A: He spent too much time on the web.

Q: What are spider webs good for?
A: Spiders.

Q: Who was the most famous baseball playing spider?
A: Ty Cobweb.

Q: What do you call an Irish spider?
A: Paddy long legs.

Q: What did the sad spider say to the fly?
A: Buzz off.

Q: What do frogs like to drink in the Fall?
A: Apple Spider.

Q: What kind of doctors are like spiders?
A: Spin doctors.

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Q: What was the spider’s favorite TV show?
A: The newly web game.

Q: Why are spiders such good swimmers?
A: They have webbed feet.

Q: What does annoying a spider do?
A: Drives it up the wall.

Q: Why do spiders like living in haunted houses?
A: Because ghosts can’t break their webs.

Q: Why did the spider get a job at Google?
A: It was a great web designer.

Q: Why did the spider buy a car?
A: To take it out for a spin.

Q: Why did the witch’s spider keep getting lost?
A: The leash was too loose.

Q: What happened when the man bit into a sandwich with a daddy long legs in it?
A: It became a daddy short legs.

Q: What do you do when you find your pet spider’s cage left open?
A: Walk carefully.

Q: What do lizards like to eat during the fall months?
A: Apple Spider Donuts.

Q: What do you call spiders who just got married?
A: Newlywebs.

Q: Why are spiders such good baseball players?
A: They know how to catch flies.

Q: What do spiders order in Paris restaurants?
A: French flies.

Q: Why do spiders spin webs?
A: Because they can’t crochet.

Q: What is a spiders favorite day?
A: Flyday.

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Q: Why are spiders happy when it’s Halloween?
A: Because everyone thinks their fake – until they jump on them.

Q: What outdoor sport do spiders like?
A: Fly fishing.

Q: What do you call a special agent spider?
A: A Spy-der

Q: How do spiders get married?
A: They have a webbing?

Q: How do spiders communicate?
A: The world wide web.

Q: What has 72 legs and catches flies?
A: A spider baseball team.

Q: What baseball position do spiders like most?
A: The outfield because they catch the most flies.

Q: Why are spiders like toy tops?
A: They are always spinning.

Q: What do you get when you cross a spider with an ear of corn?
A: Cobwebs.

Q: What did the spider say to the fly on Halloween?
A: This web is the trick and you’re the treat.

Q: Why job offer did the witch put in the spider newspaper?
A: Potion ingredient wanted, no experience needed.

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