Monster Jokes

Looking for monster jokes? Check out this great collection of jokes about monsters. Funny for Halloween or anytime.

These monster jokes are perfect for parents, teachers and kids of all ages. If you’re looking for specific types of monsters or scary creatures, we also have ghost jokes, ghoul jokes, witch jokes, werewolf jokes, Frankenstein jokes and more.

Monster Jokes for Kids

Q: What has horns, long fangs and can fly?
A: A rampire.

Q: Why did the monster knit herself three socks?
A: Because she had three feet.

Q: Which monsters hibernate all winter?
A: The bearwolf.

Q: Who is the brightest monster?
A: Frankenshine.

Q: What vampire always eats junk food?
A: Snackula.

Q: What did the grandfather monster say to his grandson after not seeing him for a year?
A: You’re gruesome.

Q: What tree-monster prowls the forest?
A: Frankenpine.

Q: What monster never loses at card games?
A: Draculuck.

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Q: Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?
A: His ghoul friend.

Q: What do monsters turn on during the summer?
A: The scare conditioner.

Q: What is a monster’s favorite sweet treat?
A: Ghoul scout cookies.

Q: Why didn’t Dracula go to the barbecue party?
A: They were making steaks (stakes).

Q: What type of lock does Dracula have on his castle door?
A: A dead bolt lock.

Q: What did the critics say about Frankenstein’s art project?
A: It’s a monsterpiece.

Q: What time is it when a huge monster sits on your car?
A: Time to get a new car.

Q: Do monsters eat popcorn with their fingers?
A: No, they eat the fingers separately.

Q: What type of monster loves dance music?
A: The boogeyman.

Q: What’s a monsters favorite variety of bean?
A: Human beans.

Q: Why wasn’t there any food left after the monster Halloween party?
A: Everyone there was a goblin.

Q: What kind of car do huge monsters drive?
A: A monster truck.

Q: Why are monsters covered with lots of wrinkles?
A: It’s too hard to iron a monster.

Q: What is the best way to speak to a monster?
A: From far away.

Q: What do you do with a very green monster?
A: Wait until it’s ripe.

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Q: How do you keep a freaky monster in suspense?
A: I’ll tell you later.

Q: What does Dracula wear on his head when he flies out?
A: His batting helmet.

Q: Why are monsters green?
A: They eat too much candy and feel sick.

Q: What position do monsters play on soccer teams?
A: Ghoulie.

Q: Where can you find a lot of monsters?
A: On sesame street.

Q: How do you greet a 3-headed monster?
A: Hello, hello, hello.

Q: Why did the invisible man go on stage?
A: To perform his vanishing act.

Q: Why did the dark monster eat a mini flash light?
A: Because he wanted a light snack.

Q: Why did Dracula run out of the Italian restaurant?
A: They put garlic on his pizza.

Q: What kind of horses do monsters ride?
A: Night mares.

Q: What do you say when you meet a two headed monster?
A: Hello, hello.

Q: What kind of monster has the best hearing?
A: The eeriest one.

Q: What kind of hot dogs do monsters like best?
A: Hallowieners.

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Q: What do little monsters like to ride on at the amusement park?
A: The scary-go-round.

Q: What do you say when you meet a scary two headed monster?
A: Bye, Bye.

Q: What do you call a red monster?
A: Elmo.

Q: What kind of vampire does dangerous somersaults?
A: An acrobat.

Q: Who is the messiest monster?
A: Slopzilla.

Q: Where does Judge Dracula work?
A: The night court.

Q: What do you call a giant yellow monster with a beak?
A: Big bird.

Q: What kind of shoes do spy ghouls wear?
A: Sneaky sneakers.

Q: What do you call a twelve-year-old monster?
A: A Jr. High sGhoul Student.

Q: Why did the werewolf go to bed early?
A: He was dog-tired.

Q: What little monster chicken is very creepy?
A: The Grim Peeper.

Q: What huge scary Japanese monster is a rap singer?
A: Godzilla Ice.

Q: What do monsters like to eat with a sand-witch?
A: Ghoulslaw.

Q: What monster might you see if you open up a metal garbage can?
A: Oscar the grouch.

Q: Why did the vampires go into the cave?
A: To hang out.

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Q: What did the mummy detective say when he figured out the case?
A: It’s time to wrap up this mystery.

Q: When do monsters like to have parties?
A: On Halloween.

Q: Which monster might you find at the end of a book?
A: Grover.

Q: Why was the monster feeling sick?
A: It ate too much Halloween candy.

Q: Where do monsters go swimming?
A: In the dead sea.

Q: How do monsters like their eggs?
A: Terror-fried.

Q: What is a monster’s favorite summer drink?
A: Demonade.

Q: Why did the slimy monster cross the road?
A: To get to the other slime.

Q: What kind of monster has two mouths?
A: The one with two heads.

Q: When do monsters eat breakfast?
A: In the moaning.

Q: Who do you call when you need a monster?
A: Monsters, Inc.

Q: What song do monsters love to hear?
A: The Monster mash.

Q: Why did the monster like on his sundae?
A: Whipped scream.

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