Jokes About Witches

If you’re looking for witch jokes, then this is the place for you. Check out this huge collection of witch jokes that are safe for kids and funny for everyone.

There are several witches that children may have already seen on tv or read about in books. Some characters are suprisingly scary for a movie aimed at really young children, like Ursula from The Little Mermaid. These jokes, however, are not scary.

Jokes about Ursula from The Little Mermaid
Ursula from The Little Mermaid can be a bit scary.

We’re including some of the more common witch names that kids may already know about below. This will make it easier for you to modify some of these witch jokes by using the name of a witch your child already knows about.

  • Cho Chang, Fleur Delacour, and Gabrielle Delacour from Harry Potter
  • Magica De Spell from Disney comics and DuckTales
  • Kiki from Kiki’s Delivery Service
  • Little Witch from The Nightmare Before Christmas
  • Maleficent from Walt Disney’s Sleeping Beauty
  • Madam Mim from The Sword in the Stone
  • Lady Morgana Pendragon from Merlin
  • Pei-Pei from Freaky Friday
  • Serena, Aunt Clara, Aunt Enchantra, Endora, and Samantha Stephens from Bewitched
  • Ursula from The Little Mermaid
  • Witch Hazel from Looney Tunes

Here is our collection of witch jokes for children:

Q: What is evil, ugly and bounces?
A: A witch on a pogo broom.

Q: What do you get when you cross a witch’s cat with a canary?
A: A cat with a full belly.

Q: What happened to the naughty witch at school?
A: She was ex-spelled.

Q: What did the tired witch do?
A: She sat down for a spell.

Q: What happens to witches when it rains?
A: They get wet just like everyone else!

Q: How is a witch like a candle?
A: They’re both wicked.

Q: What’s the difference between a broomstick and a pumpkin?
A: You can’t make a broomstick pie.

Q: Why do witches wear name tags?
A: So we can tell which witch is which!

Q: What do you call a witch who lives at the beach?
A: A sand-witch.

Q: What story do little witches like to hear at bedtime?
A: Ghoul-di-locks and the Three Scares.

Q: How do witches on broomsticks drink their hot tea?
A: Very carefully!

Q: How do you make a witch float?
A: Root beer, one scoop of ice cream, and one witch.

Q: What was the name of the witch with one leg?
A: Eileen.

Q: Why do witches fly on brooms?
A: Vacuum cleaner cords are too short.

Q: What do you call a witch’s garage?
A: A broom closet.

Q: What do you call a witch that wins the lottery?
A: A wrich.

Q: Why can’t angry witches ride their brooms?
A: They always fly off the handle.

Q: What do you call an anxious witch?
A: A twitch.

Q: Why are black cats such good singers?
A: Because they’re so mewwwwsical.

Q: What do witches put on their hair?
A: Scare spray.

Q: What did the doctor say to the witch in hospital?
A: Soon you’ll feel well enough to sit up for a spell.

Q: What did the witch’s cat like for breakfast?
A: Mice Crispies.

Q: What subject do they teach at witch school?
A: Spelling.

Q: What makes more noise than an angry witch?
A: Two angry witches!

Q: When is it bad luck to meet a witch’s cat?
A: When you’re a mouse.

Q: Why did the witch wear green stockings?
A: Because her gray ones were in the wash.

Q: What did the witch do when her broomstick broke?
A: She witch-hiked.

Q: What did the witch’s daughter want for her birthday?
A: A haunted dollhouse.

Q: Who was the most famous witch detective?
A: Warlock Holmes.

Q: What does a witch ask for in a hotel?
A: Broom service.

Q: How can you make a witch itch?
A: Take out the W.

More Jokes Continue Below

Q: What do you call a witch that drank too much coffee?
A: A twitchy witchy.

Q: What do witches use pencil sharpeners for?
A: To keep their hats pointy.

Q: What was the young witch’s favorite part of school?
A: The spelling bee.

Q: What kind of jewelry do witches wear?
A: Charm bracelets.

Q: Why do witches ride on broomsticks?
A: Because it’s quicker than walking.

Q: Why did the witch keep turning into Minnie Mouse?
A: She kept having Disney spells.

Q: Who can go into a witch’s house without getting hurt?
A: The witch.

Q: What do you call witches that live together?
A: Broom mates.

Q: What kind of tests do they give in witch school?
A: Hex-aminations.

Q: What happened to the witch with the upside-down nose?
A: Every time she sneezed her hat blew off.

Q: Why won’t a witch wear a flat hat?
A: Because they see no point in it.

Q: What’s the first thing witches do in the morning?
A: They wake up.

Q: Why do witches wear pointy black hats?
A: To keep their heads warm.

Q: What do little witches do after school?
A: Their gnomework.

Q: What do monkey ghosts like to eat?
A: Boonanas

Q. How does a witch tell the time?
A. With her witch-watch.

Q: What do you call witches that live together?
A: Broom mates.

Q: Why do witches only ride their brooms after dark?
A: That’s the best time to go to sweep.

Q: What happened to the witch with the upside-down nose?
A: Every time she sneezed her hat blew off.

Q: What did the teen witch say to her mother?
A: Can I use the broom tonight?

Q: What do witches race on?
A: Vroomsticks.

Q: Why can’t witches fish?
A: They can only cast spells.

Q: What’s the first thing witches do in the morning?
A: They wake up.

Q: What hobby do witch’s do in their spare time?
A: Witch crafts.

Q: What happened to the witch with the upside-down nose?
A: Every time she sneezed her hat blew off.

Q: What do you call a motorcycle that belongs to a witch?
A: A brrrooooommmm stick.

Q: Why did the traveling witch throw up?
A: She was broom sick .

More Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓

Q: What is a witch with poison ivy called ?
A: An itchy witchy.

Q: Which of the witch’s friends was good at baseball?
A: The bat.

Q: What do you call a witch who likes the beach but is scared of the water?
A: A chicken sand-witch.

Q: Why did the witch put her broom in the washing machine?
A: She wanted to make a clean sweep.

Q: What kind of makeup do witches wear?
A: Mas-scare-a

Q: What do you get if you cross a witch with a blizzard?
A: A cold spell.

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