Jokes About Trains

Looking for train jokes and jokes about trains? This collection of train jokes are clean and safe for kids of all ages – and we’re adding new jokes all the time.

You’ll also find jokes about Thomas the Tank Engine and some of his friends on this page – or you can visit a page dedicated to jokes about Thomas and Friends.

Fun Fact: For the Harry Potter fans out there – the Hogwarts Express is a real train which runs across 84 miles of railway in the United Kingdom (in Western Scotland). If you’re in Scotland, you can ride on it!

Kids Train Jokes

Q: How did the locomotive get so good at it’s job?
A: Training

Q: When does a rabbit go exactly as fast as a train?
A: When it’s a passenger on the train.

Q: What do you call a train loaded with bubble gum?
A: A chew-chew train

Q: Why were the railroad tracks angry?
A: Because people are always crossing them.

Q: What do you give a train conductor for his birthday?
A: Platform shoes!

Q: Why did the chicken cross the railroad track?
A: To get to the other siding.

Q: Which train car has antlers?
A: The Camoose.

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Q: Why couldn’t the train sit down?
A: It had a red caboose!

Q: How do trains hear what you’re saying?
A: Through the engineers!

Q: What is the difference between a school teacher and a train driver?
A: A school teacher tells you to spit out your gum, but a train driver says “choo choo choo”

Q: How do you find a missing train?
A: Follow the tracks

Q: What do you call a train that sneezes?
A: Achoo-achoo train.

Q: How can you tell that a train passed by?
A. You can see it’s tracks

Q: Why is the railroad angry?
A: Because people are always crossing it!

Q: Why can’t the train engineer be shocked?
A: Because he’s not a conductor!

Q: What happened to the man that took the train home?
A: He had to give it back!

Q: Why was the train late?
A: It kept getting side tracked.

Q: Why couldn’t the steam engine sit down?
A. It had a tender behind

Q: What do you call a locomotive with a cold?
A: Achoo achoo train.

Q: What’s as big as a locomotive, but weighs nothing?
A: It’s shadow.

Q: Why don’t elephants like to ride on trains?
A: They hate leaving their trunks in the baggage car.

Q: What did the mommy steam engine say to her baby engine at dinner?
A: Make sure you choo choo

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Q: If an electric train is heading south, which way would the steam be blowing?
A: It’s an electric train so there isn’t any steam.

Q: Why was that train engine humming?
A: It didn’t know the words.

Q: Why did the train have bubble gum?
A: He wanted to go Choo Choo

Q: What do you call a dramatic railway?
A: A play station

Q: What do you call a train that eats gum?
A: A chew, chew train.

Q: What kind of a train does a crazy engineer drive?
A: A LOCOmotive.

Q: What happened when the train made a mistake on the job?
A: His boss chew-chewed him out.

Q: Who investigates railroad crimes?
A: Scotland Train-Yard
Thomas the Train Jokes

Q: What did Thomas say after Gordon helped him out of the mineshaft?
A: Tank you!

Q: What do you get when you cross a Tram Engine and Shakespeare?
A: Toby or not toby, that is the question.

Q: Why can’t Duck help the other engines on Sodor?
A: Because his windshield is qwacked.

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