Looking for history jokes? Take a look at this ever-expanding collection of history jokes for children of all ages. From Atlas to Vikings, you’re sure to laugh at one of these history jokes!
History Jokes for Kids
Q: How did the Vikings send secret messages?
A: Norse code.
Q: Why did Renoir become an Impressionist?
A: He did it for the Monet.
Q: Why were the early days of history called the dark ages?
A: Because there were so many knights.
Q: How were the first Americans like ants?
A: They also lived in colonies.
Q: What was the greatest achievement of the early Romans?
A: Learning how to speak Latin.
Q: What does the Statue of Liberty stand for?
A: It can’t sit down.
Q: Where did the pilgrims land when they came to America?
A: On their feet.
Q: If Atlas supported the world on his shoulders, who supported Atlas?
A: His family and Friends.
Q: Who invented fractions?
A: Henry the 1/8th.
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Q: What kind of lights did Noah use on the ark?
A: Flood lights.
Q: What’s purple and about 5000 miles long?
A: The grape wall of China.
Q: Who made King Arthur’s round table?
A: Sir Cumference
Q: Who cleaned up after the animals on the ark?
A: I have Noah idea!
Q: Why is history class so hard?
A: Because the teacher asks about things that happened before you were born.
Q: Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
A: At the bottom.
Q: What was the Declaration of Independence signed in?
Q: What did colonists wear at the Boston Tea Party ?
Q: What kind of tea did the American colonists want?
Q: Why didn’t Socrates like old French fries?
A: Because they were made in ancient Greece.
Q: What did Caesar say to Cleopatra?
A: Let’s rule Toga-ether!
Q: What do Alexander the Great and Kermit the Frog have in common?
A: They both have “The” as a middle name.
Q: Where did Montezuma go to college?
A: Az Tech.
Q: Why is England the wettest country in the world?
A: Because a queen has reigned there for so long.
Q: Who designed Noah’s ark?
A: An ark-itect.
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Q: Why did George Washington say he chopped down the cherry tree?
A: Nothing – he was stumped.
Q: What did the colonists do because of the Stamp Act?
A: They licked the British.
Q: What kind of music did the Pilgrims listen to?
A: Plymouth Rock
Q: Why did the Native Americans hunt bear?
A: They didn’t – they wore clothes.
Q: If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?
Q: How does Moses make his tea?
A: Hebrews it.
Q: Why did Arthur have a round table ?
A: So he couldn’t be cornered.
Q: What do history teachers talk about at parties?
A: The good old days.
Q: Who was the biggest thief in history?
A: Atlas, because he held up the entire world .
Q: What was the most popular dance in 1776?
Q: Why did Julius Caesar need crayons?
A: He wanted to Mark Antony.
Q: Why did Columbus cross the ocean?
A: To get to the other tide.
Q: How was the Roman Empire divided?
A: Using a pair of Caesars.
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Q: Why did the Pilgrims want to set sail during the spring?
A: Because April showers bring May flowers.
Q: Why was the Pharoah boastful?
A: Because he Sphinx he’s the best.
Q: What was Camelot?
A: A place to park camels.
Q: What’s the moral of the story about Jonah and the whale?
A: You can’t keep a good man down.
Q: Who was the biggest jokester in George Washington’s army?
Q: Why did the knight run around shouting for a can opener?
A: He had a bumble bee in his suit of armour!
Q: What’s the fruitiest school subject?
A: History, because it’s full of dates.
Boy: How did you do on your report card?
Friend: I did what George Washington did.
Boy: What was that?
Friend: I went down in history.
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