Haunted House Jokes

This collection of haunted house jokes will scare up some laughs. Great for halloween or anytime, these jokes about haunted houses are great for parents, teachers, real estate agents, builders and kids of all ages.

Haunted houses are houses where ghosts and spirits are supposed to live. Many times, the ghosts have some sort of connection with the house or objects in the house.

Here’s us our collection of spooky, funny jokes about haunted houses – or ghost houses – for children and parents to laugh at.

Haunted House Jokes

Q: When is the safest time to go into a haunted house?
A: After Thanksgiving dinner – all the monsters are asleep on the couch.

Q: What do young ghosts sell on the front lawn of their haunted houses?
A: They have a demonade stand.

Q: When did Bob the builder say ‘no I can’t’ when asked to help fix a house?
A: It was a haunted house.

Q: Why did the haunted house scream?
A: From window pain.

Q: What little house is in the backyard of haunted houses?
A: The werewolf house.

Q: When is a haunted house door not a door?
A: When it’s ajar.

Q: Who greets you at the door of an old haunted house?
A: The ghost host.

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Q: Why don’t door bells in a haunted house ring?
A: They’re afraid to make a sound.

Q: Where do you find the scariest haunted houses?
A: At the end of a dead end streets.

Q: Why can’t haunted houses have nice furniture?
A: The black cats scratch them all up.

Q: Did anyone like the haunted house’s front lawn Halloween decorations?
A: Yes, they were a howling success.

Q: What do they have to drink in haunted houses?
A: Ghoulade

Q: Why didn’t the 10 ghosts let any more ghosts live in the haunted house?
A: It was their terror-tory.

Q: Why was the young ghost playing in the yard?
A: His mummy was vacuuming their haunted house.

Q: How did the haunted house get stolen paintings?
A: They were from the polterheist.

Q: What do young ghosts build in their play room?
A: Haunted forts.

Q: Why are haunted houses so tall?
A: They have hundreds of horror stories.

Q: Why do lady ghost’s like to haunt baseball fields instead of houses?
A: Because diamonds are a girl ghost’s best friend.

Q: Which haunted house room do ghosts never go into?
A: The living room.

Q: What do you call a spooky house that everyone insults?
A: A taunted house.

Q: How do you open the door to a haunted house?
A: With a skeleton key.

Q: Why did the barbie doll run away?
A: Her doll house was haunted.

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Q: What kind of TV do you find inside haunted houses?
A: Big scream TV’s.

Q: What was for dinner at the haunted house?
A: Ghoulash.

Q: Why was the vampire thrown out of the haunted house?
A: He kept trying to bite the guests.

Q: Why don’t zombies go into haunted houses?
A: They only chase live people.

Q: Why are haunted houses like libraries?
A: They’re both full of horror stories.

Q: Why do haunted houses need so many closets?
A: For all the brooms and boogeymen.

Q: What do ghosts keep in the refrigerator?
A: A sheet cake.

Q: Why did the witch run around her bed?
A: She wanted to catch up on her sleep.

Q: What is the first sign your house is haunted?
A: Your sheets are missing.

Q: Why was the haunted house covered in spider webs?
A: The ghosts wouldn’t let their pets inside.

Q: Why didn’t the baby ghost like dressing in the living room?
A: There was a couch potato with eyes all over it.

Q: Why makes haunted houses even scarier?
A: They’re a mess because the cleaning service is afraid to show up.

Q: What’s for dessert at the haunted house?
A: Booberry pie.

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Q: How did the little Scottish dog feel when he went pass the haunted house?
A: Terrier-fied.

Q: Why did so many children go to the haunted house?
A: That’s where the witch tutored spelling.

Q: Where was the haunted zoo built?
A: On to of a bearial ground.

Q: Why was the haunted house’s mailbox painted the same colors as the local football team?
A: The residents had a lot of team spirit.

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