Funny Cat Jokes

If you’re looking for kitten or cat jokes, then take a look at this hilarious collection of the best cat jokes for kids of all ages.

This page of jokes about cats is updated any time we hear a new cat joke, so bookmark it if cat jokes are something that you really like. Great for parents, teachers, pet store workers and, of course, children.

Funny Cat Jokes for Kids
Cats conserve energy by sleeping more than most animals, especially as they grow older. The daily duration of sleep varies, usually 12–16 hours, with 13–14 being the average.

Did you know…

Cats have excellent night vision and can see at only one-sixth the light level required for human vision. They also have excellent hearing and can detect a broad range of frequencies. They can hear higher-pitched sounds than either dogs or humans – and that’s no joke!

Cat Jokes

Q: What looks like half a cat?
A: The other half.

Q: What happened after the cat ate a ball of wool?
A: She had mittens.

Q: What do you get when you cross a cat with a parrot?
A: A carrot.

Q: How do cats eat spaghetti?
A: With their mouths just like everyone else.

Q: What is a French cat’s favorite dessert?
A: Chocolate mouse.

Q: What did the cat say when he lost all his money ?
A: Boo-hoo, I’m paw.

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Q: How do you know if your Tom cat’s eaten a duck?
A: He’s got that down in the mouth look.

Q: What kind of musician do cats like to be?
A: Purr-cussionists.

Q: Why did the cat put the letter “M” into the refrigerator?
A: To turn “ice” into “mice”

Q: What do you call a buccaneer with a cat on his shoulder?
A: A purr-ate.

Q: What happened when the cat ate the clown fish?
A: It felt funny.

Q: What’s the first thing a cat does in the morning?
A: It wakes up.

Q: What’s the second thing a cat does after it wakes up?
A: Goes back to sleep.

Q: When is it bad luck to see a black cat?
A: When you’re a mouse!

Q: What kind of kitten works at the hospital?
A: A first-aid Kit.

Q: How do you know your cat used your computer?
A: Your mouse has teeth marks on it

Q: How does a cat count?
A: Mew, mew-mew, mew-mew-mew…

Q: How do cats eat pizza?
A: They put it in their mouths just like everyone else.

Q: How does the cat get what it wants?
A: With purr-suasion.

Q: How is a cat like a coin?
A: It has a head on one side and tail on the other

Q: How does a cat sing scales?
A: Do-ri-me-ow

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Q: What do you call an old Tom cat?
A: Grand-Paw

Q: Why don’t cats like to go shopping?
A: They prefer catalogs.

Q: What’s smarter than a talking cat?
A: A spelling bee!

Q: What do you get when you cross a cat and a whale shark?
A: A catfish.

Q: Why did the cat cross the road?
A: Claws it wanted to.

Q: Why can’t cats play Go Fish?
A: They get too distracted by the fish.

Q: How is cat food sold?
A: Purr can

Q: Why did the cat pour oil on the mouse?
A: Because it squeaked.

Q: Why do you always find a lost cat in the last place you look?
A: Because you stop looking once you find it.

Q: How do you know if your cat has eaten a duckling?
A: He’s got that down in the mouth look!

Q: What happened when the cat swallowed the quarter?
A: There was money in the kitty.

Q: Why was the cat so crabby?
A: He was in a bad mewd.

Q: Why are cats such good piano players?
A: Because they’re very mewsical.

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Q: Why is it so hard for leopards to hide??
A: Because they’re always spotted.

Q: Why don’t cats play Go Fish in Africa?
A: Too many cheetahs.

Q: Can a cat give a high five?
A: A: Pawsibly…

Q: Why was the cat so small?
A: Because it only drank condensed milk!

Q: How do you know cats are sensitive?
A: They cry over spilt milk

Q: Do you know what’s smarter than a counting cat?
A: A spelling bee.

Q: How do you spell cat backwards?
A: C-A-T B-A-C-K-W-A-R-D-S

Q: How can you spell mousetrap using just three letters?
A: C-A-T!

 

Are you ready for more great cat jokes?

cat-wakes-up

 

Q: What happened when the cat swallowed a ball of yarn?
A: She had mittens.

Q: Why don’t cats play cards in the jungle?
A: There are too many cheetahs.

Q: How did the cat say when it met the mouse?
A: Pleased to eat you.

Q: What do you call a cat police force?
A: Claw enforcement.

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Q: What do cats do after an argument?
A: They hiss and make up.

Q: What do you call a cat that convince you of anything?
A: Purrr-suasive.

Q: Why was the cat grouchy?
A: Bad mewed.

Q: What happened when the cat swallowed a ball of yarn?
A: She had mittens.

Q: What do cats wear when they sleep?
A: paw-jamas!

Q: Which vegetable do cats like the most?
A: As-purr-agus.

Q: What is a cat’s favorite cereal?
A: Mice Krispies.

Q: What do you call cats that live in igloos?
A: Eskimeows

Q: If the lights run on electricity and cars run on gas, then what do cats run on?
A: Their paws.

Q: What do cats like to eat on hot days?
A: Mice cream cones.

Q: What state has the most cats?
A: Petsylvania

Q: What do you call a cat criminal?
A: A Purr-petrator

Q: Why was the cat grouchy?
A: Bad mewed.

Q: Where can your cat can sit, but you can’t?
A: Your lap.

cats-perfect

Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓

Here kitty kitty. Here kitty kitty cat jokes!

If you thought that last page of cat jokes was funny, wait until you read this page. These may be the best cat jokes ever!

Q: What kind of yard work do cats like the most?
A: Meowing the lawn.

Q: Why did the cat cross the road
A: It was the chicken’s day off.

Q: How many cats can you put into an empty box?
A: Only one because then the box isn’t empty anymore.

Q: What do you get when you cross a cat with Kris Kringle?
A: Santa Claws.

Q: Why did the cat run away from the tree?
A: It was afraid of the bark!

Q: Who was the first cat to fly in an airplane?
A: Kitty-hawk

Q: What did the cat say to the dog?
A: Meow.

Q: What did the cat say when the dog ate it’s food?
A: You gotta be kitten me.

Q: What do you get when you cross a cat with a rug?
A: A car-pet

Q: Who was the most powerful Chinese cat?
A: Chairman Maow

Q: What did the space alien say to the cat?
A: Take me to your litter.

Q: Which kinds of cats like bowling?
A. Alley cats

Q: What are caterpillars scared of?
A: Doger-pillars!

Q: Why do cats sleep all day?
A: Because they can.

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Q: What happens when you give a cat a Rubik’s cube?
A: It gets purr-plexed.

Q: What do cats read in the morning?
A. The mewspaper

Q: What do you call a painting of a kitten?
A: A paw-trait

Q: Why are desert cats so popular at Christmas?
A: Because they have sandy claws

Q: What do they call it when a cat wins a dog show?
A: A cat-has-trophy

Q: Why are cats such terrible story tellers?
A. Because they have only one tail.

cat-open-can-jokeQ: Why did the kitten want to go to medical school?
A: To become a first aid kit

Q: How is wet cat food priced?
A: Purr can

Q: Why do cats make the best pets?
A: Because they are purr-fect

Q: What do you call a cat walking on snow?
A: A cool cat.

Q: Why are cats so good at video games?
A: Because they start with nine lives!

Q: Why was the cat so tiny?
A: It only drank condensed milk.

Q: What type of cat has eight legs and loves to swim?
A: An octopuss

Q: Why don’t you need a license for a cat?
A: Because they can’t drive.

Q: What color do cats like the most?
A. Purrr-ple

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Q: What game did the cat like to play with the mouse?
A. Catch

Q: What is a cat’s favorite song?
A: Three Blind Mice!

Q: Why is it so hard for a ocicat to hide?
A. Because it’s always spotted.

Q: Where did the kittens go for their school field trip?
A. The mewseum.

Q: What happens when a cat drinks vinegar?
A: You get a sourpuss

Q: What is a cat’s favorite show on TV?
A: The evening mews.

Q: What is a cat’s favorite brand of car?
A: The Catillac.

Q: What do you call a loving cat bite?
A: A cat nip

Q: Why did the cat eat a plate of cheese?
A: So he could wait by the mouse hole with baited breath.

Q: What do you call a cat that sucked on a lemon?
A: A sour puss

Q: What do you get when you cross a cat with a canary?
A: Shredded tweet

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Q: During which month do cats meow the least often? A: February, because it’s the shortest month.

Q: What did the mouse say when the cat grabbed his tail?
A: That’s the end of me.

Q: What do you get if cross a Pekingese with a Tomcat?
A: A Peking Tom

Q: What do cats use to make their coffee?
A: A purr-colator.

Q: What do you call a cat that eats a duck?
A: A duck-filled fatty puss.

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Q: What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo?
A: An eskimew.

Q: What do you call a cat wearing shoes?
A: Puss in boots

Q: What’s another name for a Siberian cat??
A: Eskimeow.

Q: During what kind of weather is a veteranarian the busiest?
A: When it’s raining cats and dogs!

Q: What do you do with a blue Burmese?
A: Try and cheer it up a bit

Q: What do you use to style your cat’s hair?
A: A catacomb.

Q: If a cat can jump five feet high, then why can’t it jump through a three foot high window?
A: The window is closed.

Q: What do cat actors say on stage?
A: Tabby or not tabby, that is the question.

Q: What do cats call a bowl of mice?
A: A purrfect meal

Q: What is a cat’s favorite school subject?
A: HISStory.

Q: If lights run on electricity and buses run on gas, what do cats run on?
A: Their paws.

Q: What does a cat do when it gets mad? ?
A: It has a hissy fit.

Q: When is it bad luck for a black cat to follow you?
A: When you’re a mouse.

Q: Which type of cat purrs more than any other?
A: Purrsians!

Q: What did one cat say to the other?
A: Have you heard the mews today?

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Q: During which month do cats meow the least often?
A: February, because it’s the shortest month.

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