Black Cat Jokes

Looking for funny black cat jokes? Check out this great collection of jokes about black cats. Funny for Halloween or anytime.

These black cat jokes are perfect for parents, teachers, pet owners, veteranarians and kids of all ages.

Fun facts about black cats: In some areas, dreaming of a black cat is considered lucky. In Asia and the United Kingdom, a black cat is also considered lucky. Meanwhile, some believe that black cats are witches in disguise!

No matter what you might believe about black cats, one thing is for sure: you see a lot of images of black cats around Halloween – and it’s a popular costume for people of all ages. Have fun with these jokes about black cats!

Black Cat Jokes for Kids

Q: If lights run on electricity and cars run on gas, what do cats run on?
A: Their paws.

Q: What do you call a black cat criminal?
A: A Purr-petrator

Q: Why do black cat’s ride with witches on broomsticks?
A: Because it’s quicker than walking.

Q: What kind of tests do they give black cat’s in school?
A: Hex-aminations.

Q: What’s the first thing black cat’s do Halloween morning?
A: They wake up.

Q: What do black cats like to eat on hot days?
A: Mice cream cones.

More Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓

Q: How do black cats eat Halloween candy?
A: With their mouths just like everyone else.

Q: What animal do witch’s say make the best pets?
A: Black cats – because they’re purr-fect.

Q: What happened when the black cat ate the clown costume?
A: It felt funny.

Q: What type of cat has eight legs and swims in the Dead Sea?
A: An octopuss.

Q: What looks like half a black cat?
A: The other half.

Q: What is a black cat’s favorite song?
A: Three Blind Mice.

Q: Which kind of cats like bowling?
A: Black Alley cats.

Q: Why are black cats so good at Halloween party songs?
A: Because they’re very mewsical.

Q: What did the black cat have for breakfast?
A: Mice Crispies.

Q: Why do black cats make the best pets for witches?
A: Because they are purr-fect.

Q: What is a black cat’s favorite color?
A: Purrrrrr-ple.

Q: How is a black cat like a coin?
A: It has a head on one side and tail on the other

Q: What makes more noise than an angry black cat?
A: Two angry black cats!

Q: What do black cat use pencil sharpeners for?
A: To keep their claws pointy.

Q: What hobby do black cat’s do in their spare time?
A: Witch crafts.

More Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓

Q: Why did the witch’s black cat throw up?
A: She was broom sick .

Q: Which of the black cat’s friends was good at baseball?
A: The bat.

Q: What do you get when you cross a black cat with a witch’s rug?
A: A magic car-pet

Q: What do people in England call little black cats?
A: Kittens.

Q: Why did the black cat put the letter “M” into the freezer?
A: To turn the “ice” into “mice.”

Q: What is the official magazine of black cats?
A: Good Mousekeeping.

Q: What do black cats wear on Halloween night?
A: paw-jamas!

Q: What is more amazing than a talking black cat?
A: A spelling bee.

Q: How did the black cats end their fight?
A: They hissed and made up.

Q: Why can’t black cats play Go Fish?
A: They get too distracted by the fish.

Q: What do you call a witch’s black cat after it drinks vinegar?
A: A sour puss.

Q: Where does a black cat go if it loses its tail?
A: The retail store.

Q: What is it called when a witch’s black cat falls off her broomstick?
A: A catastrophe.

Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓

Q: Why was the black cat’s phone bill so high?
A: He kept making Persian-to-Persian calls.

Q: What did the black cat say when it lost all it’s money?
A: Meow i’m paw.

Q: When is it unlucky to see a black cat?
A: When you’re a mouse.

Q: Why was the black cat so small?
A: It only drank condensed milk.

Q: What is black, has 8 legs and hisses?
A: Two black cats fighting.

Q: What’s the unluckiest kind of black cat to have?
A: A catastrophe.

Q: What did the black cat say to the dogfish?
A: I’ve got a bone to pick with you.

Q: What did the black cat say when the dog ate it’s Halloween candy?
A: You gotta be kitten me.

Q: How many black cats can you fit into a haunted house?
A: Only one. After that, the haunted house isn’t empty anymore.

Q: What do you when you cross a black cat with Saint Nicholas?
A: Santa Claws.

Q: What happened to the black cat who swallowed a ball of orange yarn?
A: She had Halloween mittens.

Q: What kind of musician do black cats like to be?
A: Purr-cussionists.

Q: What is black and white and smells all over?
A: A black cat dancing with a skunk.

Q: Why was the black cat so crabby?
A: He was in a bad mewd.

Q: What did the mouse say when the black cat grabbed his tail?
A: That’s the end of me.

Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓

Q: What state has the most black cats?
A: Petsylvania

Q: Who rounds up naughty black cats on Halloween?
A: Claw enforcement.

Q: How do you spell mousetrap with three letters?
A: C-A-T.

Q: Where did the first black cat fly?
A: Kitty-hawk.

Q: Why did the black cat throw his milk bowl?
A: He wanted to see a flying saucer.

Q: Where do black cats hang their wet laundry?
A: On a feline.

Q: Why did the black cat cross the graveyard?
A: Claws it wanted to.

Q: What do you call a black cat surrounded by mice?
A: Purr-fectly happy.

Q: What do you call a black cat in high school?
A: A kit-teen.

Q: What’s equal to a black cat’s dime?
A: 10 purr cents.

Q: What’s the best grade a black cat can get on a math test?
A: 100-purrrcent.

Q: Why did the black cats move away from town?
A: The neighborhoods had gone to the dogs.

Q: What game did the black cat play with the mouse?
A: Catch.

Q: What was the French black cat’s favorite pudding?
A: Chocolate mousse.

Q: What was the black cat’s favorite dessert?
A: Mice pudding.

Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓

Q: Where do black cat’s sit on airplanes?
A: In fur-st class.

Q: What do black cats drink on cold days?
A: Kit-tea.

Q: During which month do black cats screach the least often?
A: February, because it’s the shortest month.

Q: What’s the difference between a black cat and a comma?
A: A black cat has claws at the end of it’s paws, a comma has a pause at the end of the clause.

Q: How is a black cat like a candle?
A: They’re both wicked.

Q: How do black cats get their hair to stand up for Halloween?
A: They use scare spray.

Q: Why are black cats so terrible at telling scary stories?
A. Because they have only one tail.

Q: What do you use to comb a black cat’s fur?
A: A catacomb.

Q: Why did the jury lock up the black cat?
A: It was guilty of purr-jury.

Q: What do you call a black cat that was arrested by the police?
A: The purrpatrator.

Q: Why are black cats such good singers?
A: They’re very mewsical.

Q: What does a black cat do when it gets angry?
A: It has a hissy fit.

Q: Why did the black cat run from the tree?
A: It was afraid of it’s bark.

Q: What happened to the cat who drank 6 bowls of milk in a row?
A: He set a new lap record.

Q: What did the black cat say when it met the mouse?
A: Pleased to eat you.

Jokes Continue Below ↓ ↓

Q: What do you get when you cross a black cat with a canary?
A: A black cat with a full belly.

Q: What happens to black cats when it rains?
A: They get wet just like everyone else!

Q: What brand of car do black cats drive?
A: Catillacs.

Q: Why don’t black cats play games in the jungle?
A: Too many cheetahs.

Q: Why did the black cat cross the road
A: To get the chicken.

Q: How do black cats get their own way?
A: With purr-suasion.

Q: What was the black cat’s favorite subject in school?
A: HISStory.

Q: What did the black cat say when he lost all his Halloween money?
A: Boo-hoo, I’m paw.

Q: Where can a black cat sit, but you can’t?
A: On your lap.

Q: Why are black cats easier to care for than babies?
A: You only have to change a litter box once a day.

Q: What is evil, black and bounces?
A: A black cat on a pogo broom.

Q: Why did the black cat put oil on the mouse?
A: Because it squeaked.

Q: What do they call it when a black cat wins a dog Halloween costume contest?
A: A cat-has-trophy

Q: Which one of your pets should you scare on Halloween?
A: Scare-de-cat.

Check All of Our Joke Collections Below ↓ ↓